In which life became overwhelming.

Once upon a time Chris applied for a job on the opposite side of the country, and then he got said job, we painstakingly weighed the pros and cons, accepted the job, listed our house, sold our house, bought a new house, moved across the country, stayed in a few temporary housing situations and then finally moved into our new home in Washington.

During this time life was a bit full, of good and bad, but FULL. There were so many things that demanded my time and attention, life was a little overwhelming and blogging fell off of my radar. Life is still in a constant state of crazy but before this year ends I was determined to at least briefly document the major events of the last few months.

AUGUST

• Chris and Jill head to Hawaii
• This was by far the biggest funnest thing that happened in August. Chris and I spend a week in Hawaii with all of this siblings and parents. It truly was paradise. The beauty of that place is astounding. We stayed in Oahu and spent most of our days hiking or on the beach. My mother was a saint and came to stay with our kids in Virginia while we were gone. She brought Hunter with her and the kids had just as much fun while we were gone as we did. Mom and Hunter... probably not so much. They were so good to have lots of fun things planned for the kids but I think they were more than ready to leave once we got back.
• 
• Accepting a job in Washington
• The day after we got home from Hawaii Chris signed the offer letter with PNNL in Washington state. That was such a hard decision for our family. We spent lots of time on our knees and even after the decision was made we weren't sure if it was the right one. I am so grateful for faith and prayers and the knowledge I have of our Heavenly Father and his watchful hand in our lives.

September

• Kids start school
• The first week of September the kids started school Kaden in 3rd Taycee in 1st and Addi in preschool. This was another big decision for me. I was set to homeschool them all this year but through a series of events decided not to. (which is an entire post in itself..maybe one day I will get to it) As I watched them at back to school night hug their new teachers and walk through the school with so much excitement and enthusiasm, my heart warmed and I felt at peace about where they were.  Addi started her first year of pre-school another thing which I was quite anxious about. I seem to always be extra protective of that little girl. She loved it, full heartedly loved it

• Our house in Virginia goes up for sale.
•  The week after school started our house went up on the market. We spent a couple of weeks power washing the outside and making it sparkle outside and in. I planted fake flowers in all the of the flower pots outside and it looked like springtime in September. We nervously awaited the first showing which came at 11 am the very first day. That was followed by 3 more showings that day. 8am the morning of the second day we had another showing and by 11 am that morning we had an offer in hand. I might have been slightly overwhelmed by how fast everything was going and had a full on panic attack. "They can't buy our house! I LOVE our house! What were we thinking!? Tell them no!" *tears, and breathing into a brown paper sack* Chris was very calm about it. ( Oh how I need that man) and I think he only called me crazy once.  We accepted the offer and just like that our very first home was sold. (or more specifically under contract) 
• 
• Jill goes to Washington to find a house
• Once our house was under contract I flew out to Washington for 4 days to try and find a new home for our family. This was quite a daunting task, that I will never do alone again. I met up with our realtor and saw 12 houses the first day and 4 houses the second. I wasn't in love with anything I saw and didn't think the trip was going to be very successful. On the third day I went back for a second showing on 2 homes and liked them both better my second time through. I left Washington without making an offer on any home (to my realtors dismay) .
• An important note. When I arrived at the airport at midnight, after flying for 8 hours the budget car rental agent decided a Mustang would best fit me (bwahahahaha) so I drove around that beauty for 4 days. Chris was quite jealous and told me multiple times I didn't appreciate the beauty or power of it. He was probably right. What I also didn't appreciate was the fact that I couldn't figure out how to pop the trunk at midnight to put my luggage in, or how to open the gas tank when I was filling up to return the car at 5 am in the morning. After pushing a series of buttons I got the trunk open, I did however have to google the gas tank problem on my phone. (Turns out you just push it in and it pops out!)

October

•  We make an offer on a home in Washington
•  After going home and talking with Chris about the 2 homes I saw a second time we decided to make a low offer on one of the homes and see what happened. The sellers countered back quite high and we gave one last final (still low) counteroffer. The sellers countered back again high and we told our agent we weren't interested in negotiating any higher than our last offer. We considered that house off the table and started looking into rental options. We originally wrote the offer on a Thursday night and our realtor gave the offer an expiration date of Monday just incase the sellers were out of town for the weekend. However by Friday night we had already gone through the above negotiations and considered it a dead deal. However, while I was making dinner the next Monday night Chris got a call from our realtor who said these words "Congratulations! You just bought a house."------------------------------------------------------ Shocked silence. Um, WHAT?! Apparently the sellers had thought it over and decided to take our second offer. Because the offer hadn't expired yet they were able to sign it and that was that. I was caught quite off guard as we had thought that home was no longer an option and had totally changed our frame of mind. I might have panicked again slightly and Chris once again spoke soothing words while petting my head. (ha, I joke... kind of) That was that, we had sold our house, and bought a new house and we were moving to Washington.
• Phone calls,  paper work, and emails OH MY!
• Buying a home while living 4,000 miles and 3 time zones away is tricky. The rest of October was filled with SO many emails and e-documents and phone calls. We had to coordinate the move of our home, temporary housing in VA and WA, rental cars, storage sheds, new schools, flights....the lists went on and on. Honestly October was a whirlwind of emotions, lots of stress and so many signatures. 
• Brielle insists on being potty trained.
• In the chaos of October the last thing I had on my list of things to do was potty train my 2 year old. But one day while she way laying on the floor having a nuclear melt down because I WOULDN'T let her go on the potty I realized I was making things harder by not potty training her.  So I set aside a weekend, did lots of laundry had a clorox bottle constantly on hand, and we got it done. 

• We move out of our home
• On October 26th 5 ladies showed up at my front porch at 8am and a special kind of torture began. I don't consider myself a high strung person. I do like order and maybe I'm a tad bit fond of control. However, having these strangers in my house putting my things in boxes about did me in. I had to sit in my room and practice my deep breathing. I really really didn't like it and if/when we move again I will be doing all the boxing myself. 
• They shipped our car with our household items so we needed to pick up a rental car. Unfortunately there was a little mixup on the time and when we went to pick up our car the rental office was closed. This mostly presented a problem because I needed to be at the house the next morning at 8 to meet the movers and the office didn't open until 9. I ended up dropping Chris off in the freezing morning air to sit outside the office for an hour while I went ahead to the house to meet the movers. It wasn't a great solution but it was the only one we had. 
• The 27th the moving truck showed up and 8 hours later our house was empty and there was a semi truck headed to WA with 98% of our belongings. 
• 
• Hotel Life 
•  Our house was empty but we didn't fly to WA until Sunday, which let us in a hotel for a few nights. We had booked the Jr Suite at Fairfield Inn. And we walked in tired and hungry (and all a bit cranky) Monday night this was the lovely Suite awaiting us. (minus all the junk) I laughed, to keep from crying and we made this tiny little room home for the next few days. Kaden found a sliver of floor amongst our 7 suitcases all 3 girls piled into 1 queen bed and we tried not to breathe too deeply as we had all had chili for dinner the night before. -- They did provide a delicious hot breakfast each morning which Kaden appreciated thoroughly. 

• A final trip to DC
• We are so lucky to have family in the DC area. The kids went to their last day of school Thursday and Friday morning we packed up waved goodbye to the hotel and headed to DC for one final sight seeing trip, before heading to my cousin Mckell's house for some Halloween festivities. 

Halloween

• We (or at least I) debated skipping Halloween this year. I wasn't sure how to fit costumes along with everything else that needed to be packed for the next month into suitcases manageable to take on the plane. But if I am a sucker for anything it is this, parties, holidays, and my kids. Halloween pretty much encompasses all of those so it could not be skipped. Mckell and Devin were awesome and let us join in on their parties. The kids trick-or treated we had dinner in a pumpkin and lit the ghost eyes. It was perfect.

November

• The Claytons take on Washington
• Unfortunately that had to be by way of a couple of airports. Our flight left at 6 am out of Dulles airport, which thankfully was only about 15 minutes from Mckell's house. We were up bright and early... actually we slept in an hour, Chris set his alarm for 3pm instead of am, BUT it was daylight savings so thankfully we woke up on time. We loaded into the rental car with 6 backpacks 6 suitcases/bags 4 car seats 2 carry on's and a dog carrier. Chris dropped me off at the airport doors with all the suitcases the dog and the two older kids. He went to return the rental and then shuttled back with the 2 babies and their car seats. I would pay good money to have video of our progression through the airport. I am sure it was quite comical... if you were not the one living through it. I somehow manages to haul all of our suitcases (with the assistance of a luggage cart and the kids) to the baggage kiosk to be tagged and checked. Chris made his way back with the (so heavy) carseats slung over his shoulders and the babies wandering behind. We made it through security (barley) and to the gate with 15 minutes to spare before boarding began. We received over 20 comments along the way. "Wow you have 4 kids AND a dog?" .... you know... the usual. Really though, the kids were angels. It was a little stressful by nature but man it could have been so much worse. Chris and I looked at each other several times and said "They are being fantastic!" It was a blessing straight from Heavenly Father. I am sure of it.  Addison loved the plane rides. She said over and over "do you LOVE bwast off daddy? I LOVE bwast off!" We actually had a childrens author sit close to us on the plane and as he de-boarded he handed us his card with his email and said he wanted to send us a book because our kids were so great. The dog even did well. Blessings.

• Apartment life
• Our house didn't close for 17 more days so we lived on the 2nd floor of an apartment in Richland for that time. It was furnished with everything we needed and had 3 bedrooms 2 baths and a kitchen. It wasn't large but it felt like a mansion compared to the hotel we had just been staying in. The only down side was we were on the second floor and the lady below us was use to no one living above her so the pitter patter of little feet at 3 am (daylight savings +3 time zones remember) was a most unwelcome event. She let us know the third day we were there, something about high heals and marching bands, it was all a bit dramatic.  We tried our very best to sound like we didn't live there and I am sure she thought some mean thoughts a time or two but we all lived through it.  The kids all got to have their second first day of school and because our cars hadn't arrived yet I did A LOT of driving. Between dropping the Chris off at work on one end of the cities getting the kids to school on the other, going back to let Brielle nap getting Addi to preschool and then picking them all up I spent half of my day in the car. I became extra grateful gas is relatively cheap right now.  There were a few hiccups in the paperwork on the house, Brielle gave herself a hair cut, Kaden broke 2 cups, Taycee broke a bowl and I thought a few times I might lose my sanity but I didn't so that's something.

• We move into our house
• Our scheduled moving day was fast approaching and because of the paperwork problems and appraisers delay and other things we weren't going to be closing on time. We started to scramble for a solution as we had the truck arriving with all of our things and Chris's parents flying in to help us move into a house that we didn't have. We found out the family who owned the home use to be in our new ward and their son was still living with the bishop. After contacting them and explaining the situation we worked out a rental agreement to let us rent the house for 3 days until we could close. I got in that day and started painting the yellow walls and 2 days later the boxes arrived. 

• Grandpa and Grandma suprise
• The weekend after we moved in was Taycee's birthday. Kelly and Claudia were planning on coming up to help us move in but we kept it a secret from the kids for Taycee's birthday. The night we picked them up we drove to the airport and told them we were picking up a package for the house. We asked them to look out the window for a box that had our names on it. They were quite confused but complied. When they saw grandma and grandpa they were pretty excited. 

• Taycee's brithday
• Taycee turned 7 on the 22nd. I was feeling guilty that once again her birthday fell amidst the chaos of moving. It was just 2 years ago we were in the exact situation but in Virginia. She is a sweetheart though and didn't mind at all that there was no fancy party or special home made cake. She got to go on a shopping trip with grandma and pick out her cake at the Wal-mart bakery and she was happy as can be. The best part of her birthday was that dad and grandpa spent an entire day out in the freezing cold building her her very own set of monkey bars. They are her favorite playground toy and she was so excited to have her own set. As per the norm building didn't go as quickly as hoped for so the monkey bars weren't quite finished when she saw them the next day, but that didn't seem to subdue her excitement in the least. I also came down with a horrible cold that weekend, I think all the stresses of the past month had finally caught up with me. On the day of her actual birthday I spent the entire day in bed with a spinning head and a barking cough. Mom of year goes to me, for sure. 

• Thanksgiving
• We had 5 days to work on unboxing and then it was time to take our first trip home to Utah for Thanksgiving. The weather was predicted to be pretty bad on Wednesday so we left Tuesday morning. We were unsure what an 8 hour drive with our kiddos would be like but again they were fantastic. We made it to Boise in just over 4 hours ate some dinner and made it to Brigham in 4 more. Doorstep to doorstep it was exactly 9 hours. It was so fun to be home again for Thanksgiving and we soaked up all the family time. Thanksgiving day was full of yummy food, family and games. We spent 4 full days and then drove home Sunday after church. 

December

• We have spent most of December settling into our new home. Most of the boxes are finally unpacked. Decorations are hung on the walls and we are starting to add the little touches that really make this house feel like our home. We really loved our home in Virginia so adjusting to a new home has been a little hard, but if I have learned anything in the past two years it is that the people who surround you are far more important than any of the things. We have loved our ward so far, the kids like their schools and the neighborhood is full of friends to play with. It felt like a long shaky process to get here but we are so happy with where it all ended. 

Other happenings in the last three months

• Addison got a haircut, afterwards she looked in the mirror and said " It's Dora!" She referred to her hair as the Dora haircut for weeks after.

• Taycee lost a few teeth

• The girls had their 2 and 4 year check ups where they were determined to be 1 lb and 1 in apart from each other in size. Brielle landing above the 99th and Addison in the 35th. Is it any wonder I get asked if they are twins every time we are out?

• Addison got to start riding the school bus and LOVED it. She asks every day "what time is it?" and if my answer isn't "It's time to get on the bus" she is quite bummed.

A transformation

Before  I ever was a mom, I knew so much. (insert uncontrollable laughter) I had taken many a child development class and new just how each stage would play out with my own perfect text book children. Then I had my first precious little baby boy and I realized just how much I didn't know. I entered the school of motherhood and each child has brought with them their own class, tests, and learning. It's been a transformative process. 

However I dare say no child has shaped me in the way this princess has. Few things about her are textbook, and from the moment she was born she has pulled me into a world of defining growth. Each challenge we have crossed together has made me a little more humble, a little more empathetic, a little kinder, a little more sensitive to others, and a little more aware of just how precious this special one is. 

She has a way of making me consider things I never thought of as possibilities, and she has made me refine the gift of mother's intuition. I have watched her grow from such a tiny helpless state and I am constantly in awe at the fight that is in such a little body. She is a princess through and through but don't let that fool you, this girl is tough as nails. 

As we entered in the world of therapies last year I had many different "professional" opinions on just what was best for this little one of mine. It has been a tricky process sorting through the recommendations and none of them have ever really felt right, and I have learned the beauty in saying "as her mom, I just don't feel like that is the best thing for her". I have also learned to expect the questioning looks from the professionals who have taken the classes and know it all. To be fair, I do value their opinion and I do think they are quite knowledgeable in their areas, that is why we went to them in the first place. I also think that what they recommend is probably the best course for most kids. But she is not most kids, she never has been.  

And so we continue to grow and transform together. There is so much greatness in her, I see it every day. It is a privilege to be her mother and be able to grow with her. I have no doubt she is not done stretching my comfort zones and making me question the things about motherhood I was so sure I already knew. There is one thing, however, that I have known from the moment she was born and that knowledge has never changed. She is special, a valiant spirit sent here for a divine purpose. A daughter of a King. 

Double the pleasure, double the fun

I suppose one day these two ladies will not like celebrating their birthday on the same day. (Enter teenage years) Though perhaps I am wrong. Maybe they will always love having a party with double the friends and double the presents and double the fun.  

I will just have to hope they are always obsessed with the same things, to make birthday party themes as easy as this one was.

We invited every family in both of their primary classes over for hotdogs, cake, icecream, and fun in the water.

There ended up being way more older kids than little ones but the girls didn't mind. They love having friends to play regardless of age.

Phoebe attended the party as well and was thrown into the water by several offenders. I'm not sure how much she  enjoyed that but she didn't retreat inside so I guess it wasn't too bad.

When it came time to light the cake Brielle was all glares and serious faces. I am not sure why, but that girl did not have a smile to spare. Addison on the other hand fully enjoyed having so many friends singing to her.

So they are 4, and 2 now and sometimes I have moments when I can't remember when they weren't. At times I have to flip through old pictures to recapture the sweet tiny babies they used to be. They are fun, challenging, exhausting, hilarious, and so uniquely themselves. This duo, who came precisely 2 years and 2 days apart from each other keep us all on our toes, and we couldn't love them more.

To the baby

"Brielle can I have the phone?"... "No momma, I takka to dad go way peese"

Oh baby girl, you are all the things. You have officially entered the age of 2, and it has you firmly in it's grip. You have already mastered the scream and the tantrum and your new favorite phrase is "GO WAY MOM! GO WAY!" But then I hand you your sippy and you look at me with your huge blue eyes and say "dak ooo momma" with the sweetest little voice and I am yours...again. It a fickle thing being two.

You go at 115% ALL.THE.TIME. there is no slow or mellow in your world. You have a perfect knack for finding and usually destroying anything that isn't locked away. You hate shoes and are barefoot for most of your days. You adore your siblings, especially Taycee and run straight into her arms whenever you know you are in trouble. You have an excellent memory, once while we were at Addi's speech therapy the therapist pulled a bag of suckers out of a closet and gave you both one. Each week after that you would walk in the room and immediately go to the cupboard and say "teet peese?" Whenever you wake up before me you come and pull me out of bed "up momma up!" and then you hold my fingers and walk me into my bathroom because you know I always go potty before I go down to make breakfast. You are a lover of all foods and eat nearly everything put in front of you, though broccoli and carrots are probably your favorite. You will always eat those off your plate first and ask more.

Sleeping has become one of your least favorite things to do. At night you use to take your binki and blankie and snuggle down into your bed happily, now you scream anytime you come near your crib, though it never lasts more than 5 minutes before you are sound asleep. 

No is your new yes and the more adamantly I say it the funnier you find doing it.  If I say "I said no" your usual response is "I say yes!" Your favorite rooms in the house are the bathrooms and the amount of chaos you can cause in minutes would be quite impressive if I wasn't the one who had to clean them up. Although your sassy naughty moments come most readily to mind, you still have a very sweet side that shines through at times. Your kisses are the sweetest and listening to you learning how to pray melts me into a puddle. Your little voice is adorable and I love hearing you say "I tummin mama" when I call your name.  

Some of my favorite phrases from your vocabulary are

"Deelishal" -delicious

"wook at dat!"

"sit puppy sit"

"tumon puppy" followed by smacking your lips and patting your legs

"Hi Mommy, whata dooooin?"

"Um, my pone?" ( which you say in a sweet inquisitive voice whenever I find you hiding with my cell phone playing a game.)

Least favortie

"Go way mommy"

"Don't TOUCH ME!" (You especially like to yell this one during sacrament meeting)

"NO MOM"

This isn't really a phrase but whenever I do something you dislike you lower your head, furrow your eyebrows glare at me and pucker your lips while growling.  (It was really cute at first... that wore off fast)

When I asked you to stand still and smile you gave me the most annoyed look then waved your little chubby finger and said "no mom, no pichure" turned around and stormed away. 

Just so you know your dad was standing behind me and laughed. I will remind him of that in 14 years when this scene repeats itself. 

I love you baby girl with my everything, two year old tantrums and all.

xoxo,
mommy

While you are still 3

Addi Boo, 

I took these pictures today while you are still three. There is so much about you I wish to bottle up and keep forever yet I don't want you to stop growing because I find that with each new stage there is more still that I love, and if I were to keep you just this way imagine all things things I would miss.

I hope to remember the way you were fascinated with everything around you. Getting you to look at a camera was almost impossible because you were far to interested in the pinecones.

and the rocks

and the birds

and the ducks.

I hope I always remember that goofy grin you had whenever you actually did stop to say "cheese." 

Unless it was dad you were smiling at, he always gets the real smiles. 

I hope I remember the way you sing "twinkle twinkle little star" and always throw a little "ABC's" in the middle, and the feeling of your little arms wrapped tightly around my neck.  The way you say "I can't wike dat!" every time you see a vegetable on your plate and the way you hum while skipping around the house.  I'd like to bottle up the way you smile with your whole body, nodding your head and clapping your hands whenever something makes you happy and the perfect way your body still folds up into a little ball and fits right into my lap.  

You have stretched my mothering abilities, you have made me better. We didn't see the inside of one hospital or insta-care together this year (at least not for your behalf) which is such a huge improvement from the two prior. You are a fighter, and a lover too but I am always so taken back by the amount of fight you possess in that little 30 lb. body. You are always proving that you really can do anything you set your mind to. I have said it many times but I say it again, you are your own person. You do things in your own way at your own time. You still refuse to name colors but you speak spanish along with Dora, and ask dad to put you "arriba and abajo"  (up and down) when he is flying you on his legs. As we are navigating the world of therapies and pre-schools I am trying my very hardest to listen to my mommy instincts and do what is best for you. In a world where schools want everyone to be the same there is so much about you I hope never changes. 

Tomorrow you will be four, and so today I will try to bottle up the 3-year-old you that I love so dearly and then I will watch with anticipation for all of the joy your 4-year-old self will bring.

All my love baby girl,

mom

Great to be 8

I have been thinking a lot lately about the choices we make. The choices that define our moments, our hours, our days and ultimately our lives. The choices that seems so small yet impact so much and the choices that seem life altering and are just that. It would seem our existence dating back to even before our birth is all made up of the choices we make.

Kaden made a huge choice last week, probably one of the most important choices he will make and as his mom I couldn't be prouder. 

I find myself in awe of this little man a lot. I think back to my 8 year old self and am quite certain I wasn't nearly as knowledgeable or valiant as he is. He has such a desire to do right and make the best choices. I believe that our Heavenly Father is saving his choicest spirits to come to the earth in these final days and I can see it Kaden.

Kaden got to have his baptism all to himself which meant we were in charge of selecting speakers and music for the program. He asked his grandpas to speak grandpa Webre on baptism and grandpa Clayton on the Holy Ghost. Grandma Webre played the piano I led the music Uncle Huter and Grandma Clayton gave the prayers and Bro. Rosvall the second counselor in our Bishopric presided at the meeting.

We spent the morning packing up and returning home from the beach which made for a busy afternoon. I was so glad to have so many extra helping hands at home to get things ready and packed up for the church. My cousin Mckell and Devin and their family made the trip down from DC just for the baptism, which was so sweet of them. So grateful to have such awesome family.

There were lots of little hiccups in the day. We forgot the chrome cast to play the video during the time Kaden was changing after he was baptized. We left the ice cream for the desert bar at home. We were running a little late all afternoon. Kaden fell in the gym (after being asked several times to stop running) and tore a hole in his BRAND NEW $90 suit. (Okay so that was a big hiccup and I might have been right at breaking point)  I took a few deep breaths, reminded myself he was an 8 year old boy and in a very restrained voice asked him to go find a place to sit down and be reverent ... then I found him crab walking down the hallway. Lots more deep breaths.

However at 6:30 (after a very rushed dinner of pulled pork and watermelon) we all sat down for the program, me right next to my first baby, and none of those other little (big) things mattered. I was just so overwhelmingly proud of the person he is and is continuing to become. I am so grateful to be his mom, it is such a privilege to raise him (although often it feels like he is raising me) and watch as the strong valiant spirit inside of him shines through.

Kaden answered a few questions for me pre/post baptism about what and how he felt about the whole experience. It is pretty fun to hear about it all through his eyes.