Movie Night

A favorite family tradition at our house is movie night. Whenever the rare evening comes that nothing is planned and Chris can spare a few hours we pop up the pop corn and hit up Redbox for a family flick.

Hotel Transylvania is on our favorite list

How can you go wrong  with a bowl of caramel, a bowl of white chocolate AND a bowl of buttered popcorn? When we do movie night we don't hold back on the popcorn variety! My kids always get so excited when they see me get out the popper.

This is the general feeling about movie night.

The good, the hard, and the true

I love general conference weekend. It fills me up and rejuvenates me. There is something so comforting and inspiring about hearing words directly sent from our Heavenly Father. I enjoy all 8 hours.

We started it off with our traditional conference crepes. I bought a bag of oranges to make an orange julius with but didn't realize they were blood oranges. Actually, I didn't even know such a thing existed. So when I sliced my first one open I was a bit confused/disgusted. They are named well, they look like some sort of body organ. To be honest I almost threw it away just on looks alone, but the practical side of me won... so I made Chris try them. :) Once he assured me they didn't have an iron after taste I also gave them a try. To be honest they aren't bad, they aren't my favorite either. They taste a lot like a grapefruit, they also made my orange julius more of a red julius.

We spent a little time painting nails

and toes.

Every time I look at her I wonder when she grew up so much.

Life has been a little hard lately. We are blessed immensely and I don't want to seem ungrateful for those blessings. I am constantly overwhelmed with love and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for all that he has blessed me with. But as in everyone's life, hard times come. We have hit lots of set backs and road blocks in our final stint to graduation. June has been the expected graduation date for a long time but as that time has grown closer it has become more clear that we would not meet that deadline. That has been a hard pill to swallow. Chris has worked so hard and put so much heart and soul into this final effort to finish and it just seems like everything that could go wrong has.It is hard when you feel like you are doing all you can do and it still isn't enough. I am a bit ashamed to say it but my faith has given way to fear often as of late. I have shed many tears and asked "why?".  The Friday before conference we had an especially bad night. I had spent the week in Saint George so Chris could work crazy hours and make some serious progress on his paper that needs to be published in order for us to start getting job offers. The week didn't go as planned for Chris and by the time I came home on Friday he wasn't much further than he the week before. We were disappointed to say the least and Satan took advantage of our fears in that moment to make sure we felt especially hopeless. By the time midnight came around Chris was banging his head on walls and doubting his ability while I laid on the kitchen floor and cried. (It was a pitiful sight) 

Enter Conference weekend--

Isn't it incredible how aware our Heavenly Father is of our needs? He truly is in the details of our lives. He is ever ready to comfort, to counsel, and to send solace to our souls. The first session of Conference on Saturday seemed to have been written just for us. Again tears filled my eyes but this time for a completely different reason. I was reminded that we aren't alone, there is a plan and help is only a prayer away. On top of that we had another tender mercy and Chris's dad came up Sunday morning and gave Chris and me beautiful priesthood blessings of promise, peace, and reassurance. 

The funny things is that things haven't changed much. We are still in the same situation, facing the same problems. But somehow they just don't seem so insurmountable. We know we are in the final months. We know things are going to work out. We know that when the time comes a way will be cleared a job will be presented and we will be exactly where we were suppose to be all along. As our faith has been strengthened our fear has ebbed away and peace has filled our hearts. 

How grateful I am for the power of the priesthood. How grateful I am for a Father in law who is worthy of that priesthood and always willing to come at the drop of a hat when needed. How grateful  I am for a Heavenly Father who is ever mindful of me and my needs. There is so much peace to be found in living the gospel principles. Obedience brings blessings, it always has and it always will. 

So bring on the hard, because we are not alone. We never have been. These next few months are bound to be interesting, with bedrest, 3 kids, 6 papers, 20 experiments, a new baby, and mountains of "to-do's". But we will leave it all a little better, our faith will be strengthened and we will look back and be amazed at how Heavenly Fathers hand was guiding it all along.

Faith over fear folks.

xoxo-

me.

Spring Break and Easter

We spent Easter in Sunny St George. That week also happened to be Kaden's Spring break at school so the kids and I stayed the week in St George and enjoyed a lot of sunshine while Chris came home and worked long hours and late nights. :D Sometimes being a mom is a pretty good gig.

We colored eggs Saturday night, the kids loved it and would have done it all night long. 

Our Monster Family.

Kaden created the blue one in the middle and named him Manky. After the egg hunt when I told him Manky needed to be shelled so he could be used in the potato salad he all but cried. Then he hid Manky in his pocket so no body would crack his shell. I think he is still currently sitting in the fridge.

Chris always chooses a project each Easter. This year he made an egg version of......

Any Guesses??  

---

Abraham Lincoln

And he says he is not creative.

Easter Sunday came and the kids got all dressed up in their Easter Best. The kids actually all had colds so we went to Sacrament meeting and then came home in an effort to not spread the bug to all the kids in primary. So after church I tried to snap a few pictures. Kaden and Taycee were quite cooperative but Addison wouldn't sit for more than 2 seconds.

So this is the best I got of all 3 kids. :)

The Easter egg hunt was a huge success, as always. The kids filled up their baskets with lots of bright colored eggs and Chris and I scored some pretty sweet eggs filled with treasure.

We spent the rest of the week at the park, playing in the pool and basking in the sunshine. Which makes coming back to this weeks weather of rain and wind and cold pretty depressing. But we sure did miss that daddy of ours so I guess we will take being home in this yucky weather.

Getting back into our normal routine has been less than fun for the kids. Kaden really enjoyed his week off of school and  informed me with a most grumpy face today when he got in the car that he had "3 PAGES of homework." But there is a part of me that secretly (or not so secretly) loves routines and schedules and lists. So although my normal morning work out sent me a few unpleasant contractions. I don't mind it so much.

We are ready for spring and warm weather to visit us in these parts though. Anytime sun, anytime.

10 weeks....or MORE!

Well here I am at 25 weeks. 

just as comparison... this was 26 weeks with Addison...

 

So it is safe to say that I am significantly larger this time around. And despite my lack of appetite and consistent workout routine I am gaining almost a pound a day. **Sigh** I am hoping that means this is a large and healthy baby that will need no extra time in the NICU. I am also hoping that this pregnancy lasts a little longer than the last because if not I have less than 10 weeks left til this little babe makes her entrance.

Faith

My new Mantra

 and so I think I shall print this little quote out, frame it, and hang it on the ceiling so it is the first thing I read when I open my eyes...

.... okay maybe not the ceiling, but somewhere nearby.

Sometimes

Sometimes days are long and nights are longer.

Sometimes children get sick for a few days weeks at a time.

Sometimes mom takes it all in stride and stays calm and collected.

Sometimes she doesn't.

Sometimes daddy stays up all night every night trying to meet a deadline.

Sometimes that deadline is met.

Sometimes it isn't.

Sometimes I see all the sadness around me and feel so blessed for my happy easy life.

Sometimes when 9:00 rolls around and the kids are finally in bed I curl up and cry because life seems hard.

Sometimes I choose faith over worry. I decide to really let go and let God. I give pep talks to Chris about how it is all going to work out for us. I am positive, I am motivating.

Sometimes I lay awake at night staring at the ceiling worrying. I try to find control in this tail spin of uncontrollable. I feel small, I feel weak, I feel afraid.

Sometimes I smile and tell everyone how fine I am with the unknown and the change and the mounting stress.

Sometimes I mean it.

Sometimes I text a neighbor down the street something about hiding in a closet and breathing into a paper bag.

Sometimes I mean that too.


Every night  Sometimes all I want for dinner is a grand turkey sandwich from Arby's

Sometimes my hair doesn't get washed for 4 days.


Sometimes I can't concentrate on anything but the kicks and jabs I feel from the little tiny one growing inside of me. I dream about inhaling her intoxicating newborn smell and falling asleep with her snuggled on my chest.

Sometimes days are so busy I forget that I am pregnant.

Sometimes I don't get any chores done because it is way more fun to play outside with the kids.

Sometimes when I go to the grocery store alone I walk down every isle twice just because there is no one calling my name or needing me for anything.

Sometimes I walk down them 3 times.

Sometimes I sneak into the kids rooms after they fall asleep and watch their chests rise and fall. I watch their eyelashes flutter on their chubby cheeks and my heart wants to burst with love. I can barley restrain myself from scooping them up smothering them with kisses.

It feels kind of like we are on a roller coaster these days. I find myself wishing the next few months away so we can get to the time when we have a plan and are settled, then I instantly feel guilty for wishing any of my babies moments away. They are growing so fast and changing every week. I panic I am so consumed by the enormity of the tasks that lie ahead that I am missing the small moments that are happening right now. So I spend the next few days trying to etch every detail of their little selves in my mind before they change and this stage is gone forever. I feel like we are living in a weird type of limbo. We know big changes are just on the horizon but we don't know what they are or when they will be happening. I want so badly to make a few summer plans but can't because I don't even know what state we will be living in. I hear mom's talk about next school year and just pray that we will have time to find good schools for the kids before the school year starts.

So for now I am working on putting aside the OCD to-do list must have a plan side of me and focus on my babies who don't have care in the world. They couldn't care less if we live in Utah or Taiwan. They find happiness in the moment wherever they may be. And no matter where we go I get to take them with me. So how bad can it be really?

Sometimes things just work out.

xoxo-

me

These Days

I have been feeling more normal these days and less like a crazy pukey pregnant person. It has been refreshing. To do lists are getting done, and play time is actually fun.

The kids are growing and changing every day. I hate that the most. I looked at Taycee today and almost didn't recognize her grown up face. She is a girl now, there is not an ounce of toddler left in that tall little four year old body. I miss those chubby cheeks and baby curls, however I don't miss the tantrums and naughty streak that went along with it. She is my little helper those days and though her spunky sassy personality is still well and alive, we spend most days as buddies instead of sparing partners. She has a quick little mind and she always surprises me with how much she knows.

Kaden is loving school and is doing more in kindergarten than I was doing in 2nd grade I am sure. One of the hardest things about moving for me will be pulling him out of this school, I LOVE the education he is getting there and am so impressed with the whole system. It will be hard to find a school that compares. He also has his first "crush". He sits by a girl he calls Addyson J. (They have 2 Addyson's in their class so they refer to them by their name and last initial) He is always making her laugh and talking to her. Last time I was in his class I overheard some boys teasing him. They kept saying "Kaden likes Addyson J" he just smiled and laughed at them and said "no I don't" although he was never very adamant about it. It was cute, at first I worried it might embarrass him but he didn't seemed phased at all by their teasing. He still has the sweetest of hearts and I adore him. Before we found out what gender this new little one was I asked him what he wanted her to be. I fully expected him to say a boy because he is surrounded by girls all day.  But to my surprise he said girl. When I asked why he gave Addison a hug and said " I just love these baby sisters." It is probably good that this little babe is another girl because I don't think a boy could live up to the expectations his brother set. If I could just find a pill that would freeze him in time my worries would be solved. He is growing like a weed, he has already outgrown his school pants from the fall but I refuse to buy new pants that he will only wear for a few weeks until it is back to shorts weather so he is just wearing pants that are an inch to short for now. Good thing 5 year olds don't care much.

Last week we all came down with an awful stomach bug. It was like some kind of horror show. All 3 kids started throwing up about 2 in the morning. We spent the next 24 hours cleaning up lots and lots of throw up. I spent the next few days cleaning all of our carpets. Luckily Chris and I didn't pick up the bug til a few days after the kids. I am not sure that we would have made it if all of us came down with it in the same day. 

Chris is working like a mule. The finish line seems so close... yet so far. When I think about all the changes that will happen in the next 6 months, I may or may not need to start breathing into a brown paper bag. The final push is here, and we are feeling it. It will be nice to have a job that doesn't require all nighters 4 am mornings and 24 hour stress. He is currently in the process of getting some of his research published which is a large requirement for his Ph.D. once that is done and accepted there will be a large weight lifted. We think that a lot of job offers are hinging on the completion of that publication, and hope that with that accomplished we can actually get some answers about where our little family will be moving to in 5 short months. 

We are LOVING this weather. We have spent all our spare moments outside enjoying some much needed Vitamin D. We plan to spend any day over 50 at the park. Hello sunshine oh how we have missed you.

Grandma Clayton came into town last week and treated us to lunch and the evening at Jungle Jims. The kids were in heaven.

And that is life these days. We are blessed.