In and Outs

I have learned something in the past 4 months. No matter how much you do or don't do, no matter how much you wish and hope and plan, no matter your circumstances, no matter what is or isn't happening, life keeps going. 

That simple truth has become ever so apparent to me lately. It was 4 months ago that we closed the school chapter of our lives. We didn't know where the next chapter would be. I remember anxiously awaiting emails that would provide direction as to where our lives would go. It felt like we had been living our life on a sort of hold as we tried to navigate the next big step. Yet all along life was happening. Days were passing, moments were occurring, memories were being made and little bodies were growing. The trick of it all is being present. Remembering that the days and moments and memories won't ever happen again. Remembering that little bodies will be a tiny bit bigger in the morning.

We, or maybe the more proper pronoun is I, are still learning to navigate the ins and outs of this new life. (That probably more like the old life than I have realized.) I miss my friend and support system on good ole 2600 N. But I do believe that circumstances are what you make of them. So I am trying to make these ones great. The kids are resilient and never skipped a beat. In fact they have already asked when this house will be our old house and we will find a new house. 

Addi is now a full blown million miles per second toddler. From the minute her feet hit the ground in the morning it is non stop go go go. Nap time is a glorious time at our house! She won't sit still for anything so most pictures I ever capture of her look a lot like this...

But every once in awhile I capture her in a moment of still and get a true Addi grin.

Her favorite food is mixed veggies and if she sees them on the table she will point and beg til she gets a heaping spoonful.

We have had a few days that were warm enough for bike riding. I am so grateful we found a home on a quiet culdesac where the kids can ride right in front of the house without getting ran over!

Kaden has some lettering on his bedroom wall that says "Sometimes being a BIG BROTHER is even better than being a SUPER HERO." This seemed a fitting picture to hang along side.

Taycee is always and forever loving on one of her little sisters!

This is a way old picture but I came across it on my phone and realized that I never officially documented Kadens first tooth loss. So here is it about 4 days before Bri was born Kaden lost his very first tooth!

Taycee's most favorite part of the new house is Mom's big tub. 

She especially loves putting bubbles in and turning on the jets til the bubbles almost cover her head.

Life is happening, and we are present. 

xoxo-

me

5 of you

5 months of that perfect baby smell. 5 months of those big blue eyes and perfect porcelain skin. I have had the pleasure of lovin on these perfectly chubby cheeks for 5 months, and I have loved every second of it. 

At 5 months Brielle

weighs 15 lbs 7 oz

is 26 inches long

Is eating cereal every night and then sleeping about 11 hours

Loves her meals times, they can not be missed or delayed or we have a very upset baby to answer to

Has to be holding something in her hand at all times, her favorite is a finger but a toy or blankie will do

Because of the above mentioned she is great at holding her bottle, but it also makes nursing difficult because if she doesn't have my finger to hold she grabs a fist full of skin and holds on tight.

Can sit up on her own for about 15 seconds

Laughs at Addison, especially if Addison is throwing a fit, for some reason Brie thinks that is especially funny, so while Addison is kicking her feet and yelling Brie is laughing.

Squeals and talks LOUDLY

Here are a few pictures from her first cereal. It wasn't too eventful, she opened up and swallowed it all down without a hitch.

Baby Girl,

  There has been a lot of change in the short 5 months you have been alive. You've been by my side ( or more accurately in my arms) through 2 moves 15 houses 10 airplanes and hours of car rides. You have been my solace through it all. Your sweet calming spirit has kept me grounded and pushed me through. Your giant blue eyes and dark long lashes speak a peace to my heart and when I watch you sleeping peacefully my heart bursts with love and gratitude that you (and all of your siblings) are mine. You were sent to me at this time of change and chaos for a reason. Perhaps to ensure that every 3 hours I took a moment to sit and be still and be consumed by your sweet baby smell. Whatever the reason my girl, I couldn't be more thankful you are mine.

You are my very best medicine. Happy 5 months.

xoxo-

mom

Year 5

This little ball of spunk is 5. Although I feel like she is 15. She is quite a little beauty and people stop me all the time out here to tell me so. If she didn't think of herself as a princess before she certainly does now. 

She was lucky enough to have grandma and grandpa here for her birthday before they fle back to Utah. It will be a sad day next year when the kids realize mom and dad are as good as it gets when it comes to family parties for birthdays.

They all built a gingerbread train together before we headed to the airport. Taycee had a really hard time leaving the candy for the train. She wanted to just eat it all.

She got the one thing she had been asking for for months a bike. The fact that it had tassels and a bell was just icing on the cake.

I never buy my kids cake. Normally I take requests and then brainstorm a way to create said request. But this year I didn't have the energy, and I didn't know where to locate half of my cake supplies. ( I wish I was kidding) so this yea Walmart did the cake baking. Tinkerbell was the request and she was over the moon with the end product.

Happy birthday little miss!

    We are so glad you're ours. You are smart, funny, and you can sass the pants of the best of us. You will do great things, I just know it. You have more determination in your little body than most adults. It will take you far. It might also take me to an early grave, but I'm working on learning how to navigate a little version of myself. 

   You are the best little mama and you have been emensly helpful since we have arrived in Virginia. I think your quick little mind and tender little heart can tell this mama is in need of extra help while I try to take on this new life. 

  You are rarely seen without a princess dress and handbag of makeup. The other days I came home from grocery shopping and you had given daddy his very own makeover. He was a blue sparkley masterpiece and you told him all night long how pretty he looked. 

   You are full of life, and energy, and questions. Your mind works at a million miles per second and nothing gets past you. You love learning and soak in new information like a sponge. 

Here is to year 5 little princess, it just might be the best one yet!

Xoxo- 

Mom

Dance Dance Baby

Our Sunday nights usually consist of dance parties to some sweet primary remixes.

Here is a little taste... (These are not that entertaining. But for family that is wanting a Clayton kid fix they should do. :)

Also I must say that I do not know where my child learned to swing her hips and shimmy her shoulders. I promise I don't dance that way... well not in front of her anyway. ;)

I am also not sure what inspired the excessive self hitting that occurs in this video. 

Funnies

I have a lot of catching up to do! We are here, in Virginia. We are somewhat settled and we are working on making it "home". We had Thanksgiving and have decorated for Christmas. We have unpacked boxes and hung pictures. The kids are in school and Chris and I have already received callings in the ward. Taycee had her first day of preschool and the kids had their first babysitter. 

We are here. And life is continuing forward in full force. 

And although I have pictures to edit and journaling to do, for now I will just start with the latest kid funnies because they are what people really want to read anyway. :D

I was calling Taycee's name and encouraging her to "hurry" into the bathroom so I could get her hair done. She sauntered in dressed in her typical princess attire. She was holding up the hem of her dress in both hands and said in her most grown up voice "MOM! Princesses do NOT hurry!"

Taycee let some hot air balloons into the air and regretted doing so quickly after. She was talking to Kaden in the backseat and it went something like this,

T: I really wanted to keep those balloons so I could give them to daddy.

K: Well you gave them to Jesus instead

T: Maybe he will send them back to Daddy

K: Yeah, just ask him in your prayers tonight to send them back!

Taycee was trying desperately to talk Kaden into playing house with her. She had a baby doll in her arms and was shouting "Kaden, a bad guy is taking our baby! You have to save us!" Kaden wasn't paying much attention and her shouting got more and more persistent. Kaden finally heaved a big sigh stuck his palm out in Taycee's direction and said very nonchalantly "Force-field. There now you are protected."

Taycee's Christmas list changes daily but some of the items as of late include

-a flying bike

-a flying horse (Like the ones Santa uses)

-and her own car

(She plans on using all of these devices to get back to Utah and see her grandmas)

We went to the store and Taycee saw a few more practical items she thought she might like for Christmas. When we got back in the car I was asking her which ones she liked the best. She told me she couldn't remember and I asked how she was going to tell Santa what she wanted if she didn't remember. Her response, "I will just tell him to ask Jesus. He is always watching over us so I am sure he remembers what I want."

There were so many more but now that I have sat down I can't remember so I will end with the story of the tree cookie...

We made sugar cookies and I let the kids decorate their own. Kaden was standing next to me and this is the story he narrated to himself as he was decorating his cookie

This is a tree, the bottom half is red and the top will be green. The bottom is not a forever green just the top part is. The bottom part will lose it's leaves but not yet. Right now Christmas magic is keeping it alive. But soon the Christmas magic will run out and the leaves will fall off. But the leaves won't fall off of the top half because it is a forever green. 

Lessons learned

I felt like I should catch up for all the time we have been in St. George before we close this chapter and move on to the next one in our lives. (Hence the plethora of posts in the last few days)
The last 7 weeks have been a time of growing for me. And as it is with most growing there have been some growing pains. It has been a challenging time, but it has been a good time as well. I have learned new things about myself some good, some not so good. I have become more aware of the struggles of single moms, though I don't pretend to be in the same boat. And I have come to have a deeper appreciation for Chris, and all he is and does in my life. So, true to my list making semi OCD self, here are 10 things I will take from the last 7 weeks.

1. I CAN do hard things. I don't like to do them, but I am capable of doing things that aren't fun or easy. When given a challenge I can rise up to it.

2. A mom is meant to have a dad. I have always believed that, but that truth is ingrained on my heart now. Men and Women complete each other. They are two unique parts to one greater whole. One without the other will be lacking no matter how hard they may try. Divine design has made it so.

3. When under copious amounts of stress my body slowly breaks down. I witnessed this in college but after having a stomach bug, tonsillitis, strep, and cold in the last month I was reminded that my body all but gives up when stress hits the higher end of the scale.

4. You should never undermine what someone else is feeling. Let me explain. A few times in the past 7 weeks I have made comments such as "This is one of the harder things I have done", "I feel like I just can't take one more stress right now", "I am so happy this is almost over". To which I have received replies such as "Oh, it could be so much worse, you could have a husband in the military" or "This is just the beginning of your stress, if you can't handle this you are in trouble" and "Once this is over there will just be a new set of problems". -- Now, don't get me wrong. I agree with what they say. It could be worse. I am grateful my husband isn't off fighting in another country, and I am ever so grateful for those men and women who are. I do know that life isn't going to be a barrel of laughs and a bouquet of roses from here on out. I am not naive to the reality of life. But that doesn't mean that right then, in that very moment I wasn't allowed to feel sad, or stressed, or relieved or whatever it was I was feeling. When people would respond to me that way I was often left feeling worse because it seemed they thought me ungrateful, or weak. I read a quote a few weeks back which read " Telling someone they can not be sad because someone might have it worse is like telling someone they can not be happy because someone else might have it better." when I read that I felt like shouting "AMEN!" at the top of my lungs.  Sometimes people just need a little sympathy instead of a reminder that it could be worse.

5. With that being said, Attitude is everything. Your attitude determines 90% of how your day will go. It is okay to feel sad for a moment, it is okay to be overwhelmed for a time. But you have to pick yourself up and move forward because nobody else can do that for you. Speaking positively to yourself and about your situation can do wonders for the way you feel

6. When it rains it pours. That is just the way it is in life. But I am hoping that means when it is sunny, it is the most beautiful day of all.

7. Everything is easier to handle with Chris by my side. Even if it is something he can do nothing about. Having him with me gives me a strength and fortitude that I have yet to find on my own.

8. We have amazing families. I already knew this but they have proved it again. We are loved, and blessed and if we are ever truly in need we will have many willing hands to help.

9. Buying a house is the most stressful process ever. Period.

10. Chris is the love of my life  of my eternity. There is no one else on this planet I would rather raise my kids with, and spend my nights with. He is the jelly to my peanut butter. :) He understand me in a way no one else does. He could never be replaced.

And with that we move forward. On to new and exciting things. I spent the last few days gathering every item we own that's left in St. George. And although I've come up short one shoe for Addison (How did I lose a shoe?)  My sewing scissors (Whaaa!) and a few other odds and ends we are ready. 4 days from now and we will be in a new place that will soon be home. We will be dealing with new stresses and maybe bigger headaches, who knows. But whatever we will be doing we will be doing it together, and there is no better way!

Mermaids and spiders and Batman, OH MY!

Halloween was all sorts of crazy for us this year. Here is a brief rundown.

The Monday Prior we carved pumpkins. 

Addi's                 Taycee's                  Kaden's

The backs

Halloween day started with Kaden's costume parade at school. I packed all four kids into the car and we were front and center around the track as Kaden Zoomed by... literally, he was running. We lucked out and he fit into Uncle Cam's old Batman costume. We were even more lucky that that was exactly what he had asked to be that year.

After the parade we went back home and started getting everyone else ready to head to grandmas work. They had a fun Halloween lunch and the kids wanted to show their costumes off.

 About a month ago Taycee wanted to be a ghost. Plain sheet two holes in it ghost. However, when she saw the mermaid costume that quickly changed. She loves all things beautiful and sparkly. So it fit her well. And what good is Halloween without some glitter and face paint? 

My beautiful little mermaid

Addi's costume came about because she already had red sparkly shoes in the closet. So Dorothy she was. The smallest Dorothy costume I could find was a 4T, so it was a bit big. But she didn't mind. 

Brielle's costume was a little modge podge of items. She had the spider jammies months ago, I have something against paying money for a babies costume. So I stuffed a few of Kaden's church socks with fluff, tied them together with black yarn and safety pinned them to the back of her spider jammies... WAHLA my little black spider.

After Grandmas work and Kaden's school I frantically started packing the car. We had gotten word from the moving company that morning that in order to have the car in Virginia when we landed we needed to ship it at 8:00 the next morning... from BRIGHAM! Which meant that I had about 16 hours to pack up everything that needed to be loaded into the storage shed in Layton for the moving truck to pick up and deliver it up north before my vehicle would need to be taken. I debated leaving right then, but couldn't bring myself to take away Halloween from the kids so we stuck around and waited til after trick or treating to take off.

Brielle did a lot of what I WANTED to do that day.

Me and my Halloween crew.

Off to Oz I suppose.

Aunt Cass was awesome and took the kids trick or treating while I finished up getting things ready at the house.

We ended up leaving St George at 8:00 pm. I arrived in Brigham loaded to the hilt... (seriously, like not 6 inches of extra room anywhere in the car plus a trailer on the back) just before 2 am.

I was more than a little nervous driving that late with all my kids alone, loaded with all of our belongings. Claudia and Kelly could see I was stressed about it. About 5 minutes after I left the house I got a call from Claudia saying they were on their way to drive up with me. I couldn't believe it. They drove from St George to Santaquin with me and then turned around and drove home because they had work in the morning. It was just one of the many times they have saved me these past 7 weeks. I was so grateful for their willingness to sacrifice their night, and sleep, and gas, to help me feel safe. They are the best.

Once we got up north we had a family Halloween party with my family. The best part was it was 2 days after Halloween. Jenny and I were Salt and Pepper 

My so awesome family ( Minus Chris and Brielle)

We did a road rally to kick things off. We had to do things such as

Gather a hair from someone at 7-11

Ring someones door bell and sing them a Halloween song

Ring someones door bell and say "I want to suck your blood"

Collect a bug from grandmas house

Go to the park and slide down the slide then take a silly picture

Put $1.11 worth of gas in your car

there were more, but you get the gist here are a few pics from our team

There were many more but Amy was in charge of pics so most of them are on her phone.

We had great food, and played lots more fun game. I wish I would have taken more pics of the night but I was managing four kids and just didn't have the time.

About halfway through the party I noticed dad and Addi were missing. I found the watching Finding Nemo together on his bed. :D

It was a fun and VERY busy Halloween. I can't say that Halloween is my favorite Holiday, but this year we definitely did it to the max.