Phone Dump

June happened... and July came. I was busy riding rides, splashing in pools, making cakes and throwing birthday parties. I have a deep love for pictures. But sometimes the demand of this fast paced mommy life just doesn't allow my 10 lb camera to stay slung around my neck. Luckily my phone is usually within grabbing distance. It alerted me that memory space was critical, and I decided it was time for a purge. So here are some highlights from my phone since the end of May.

Every once in a blue moon she sits and smiles when a camera is near

A sister is a forever friend

We planted my very first garden the beginning of May

I already posted about Taycee's graduation. But this picture was so sweet. Taycee was pretty sad that Grandma and Grandpa couldn't be at her graduation. She wore the special necklace that Grandma gave her when we moved. After graduation we were outside and Taycee pulled the necklace out of her dress and said "MOM! Grandma was with me after all!" 

For  Chris's 31st birthday the kids and I filled 31 balloons with messages from friends and family. When he got home from work he popped one at a time and read the messages. The kids loved the popping. I was/am super homesick at the time and as I typed them up almost every message made me cry. And they weren't even to me!

 We had a white Chocolate Raspberry cake for Chris's birthday, but we have a vacation to the beach scheduled on his actual birthday so we cut it the Sunday prior while my mom was here visiting (WHY DON'T I HAVE PICTURES OF THAT?!) Then it decided to rain for a straight week so we canceled our vacation. On Chris's actual birthday we had Oreo dessert. 

 Fathers day was next up on the docket. And my little girlies were looking awfully pretty. 

 As Kaden would say "the greatest dad we ever had"

 Chris got a sweet selection of handmade items this year, here is a small sampling.

To our sweet dad who is a little nutty (peanut M&M's)

Dad, you are out of this world!

"Dad, you are one in a minion!"

Our Saturday night tradition has become roasting dinner outside on the fire pit an ending with smores. This was my view from the kitchen window one evening.  There is something magical about sitting outside  by a fire while the sun sets and watching your kids run around catching fireflies in a jar. One of these night Chris looked at me and said "This is the type of night you hope your kids never forget." And it was.

We had a bout with Hand Foot and Mouth. Brie and Addi both got it within days of each other so we spend a lot of time at home. This was one early Saturday morning, Chris read story after story and the kids kept asking for more. 

The kids all got scooters this summer (Thank you Craigslist) One night while the dad was at Young Mens we spent the evening riding bikes and scooters in the church parking lot. Addison was in heaven.

This Guy..

I love him.

For SO many reasons I love him. And because our Anniversary and his Birthday and Fathers day all occurred within a 2 week span, I had lots of occasion to think about all those reasons. The list is long and mushy and truly too personal to bare to the www. But what it mostly boils down to is this, I love him because HE LOVES US. So completely. 

He is the tickler of tummies and the king of keep away. 

He is the wrestler and the runner. 

He is the "FWY" in Addi's squeals of glee.

He is the reader of stories and the champion of Skylanders.

I love him because if he hears a baby wake up at 2 am he is the first to jump out of bed, and I love him because when he doesn't hear the baby and he feels me returning back to bed he reaches out and pulls me close; instinctively, without even being conscious of the movement. Because that is who he is, a protector and a comforter. 

Happy 31st Birthday (and Fathers Day) to the man we need most. 

We are just so so lucky he is ours.

She's a graduate

This girl. Sometimes I don't have words to encompass all that she is. She will do incredible things. The world is hers for the taking and she will take it by storm.

She has been ready to go to kindergarten since she was about 2, when she stood by the front door with her sippy cup in hand and binoculars around her neck and begged to go to "shool". So pre-school graduation meant big things to her. She reminded me precisely 18 times that day that when she graduated pre-school she would be in kindergarten. She actually still takes every opportunity to tell me she is a kindergartner now. 

I wasn't quite ready for how serious pre-school graduation would be. But boy oh boy this pre-school took graduation seriously. The kids were dressed in full cap and gown and the auditorium was packed (not to mention the line at the door to get in. People were RUNNING to get a seat at the front.) 

We all stood as the graduates came in, proudly marching to Pomp and Circumstance.  Taycee was radiant and I was having all sorts of premonitions of the many walks down isles she would take in her life, at which point a few tears of pride promptly rolled down my cheeks.  Chris looked at me with equal parts pride and terror and said "She is beautiful!"

 They put on quite the program. Taycee knew every word and did the actions with her whole body. She went to a Christian pre-school so all of the songs were about Jesus.

Taycee walked across the stage to get her diploma and I realized that we were closing a chapter in her life. She will be in school all day now. (They do all day kindergarten here) I won't have her helpful hands with me all day. Addi won't have a big sister to dress up and have tea parties with. She is a little more grown up now, and I don't think I like it. 

This is a terrible quality photo (I have yet to master photography in terrible light)  But I had to keep it because the way this girl looks at her daddy when he hands her "rosies"... I don't think there is a look that holds more joy love and adoration. 

This was Taycee's teacher Miss Jennifer.

 These were two of the school directors who greeted Taycee at the door each day and waved goodbye to her each afternoon. Taycee loved them and always left by giving them a huge hug.

Dear Taycee,
 
  You have always been one to run, not walk. Whatever you do you do it well. The other day you said "mom I can do so many awesome things!" Which is true, you can. You master skills with ease that are hard for so many others. You are always looking for new things to learn and do. Miss Jennifer was always commenting how "on top of it" you were. You never miss a beat. You keep us all on our toes and you aren't afraid to point out when we are wrong. You are the best big sister which is probably why yours is the only name Addison will say. You make us so proud. We are so excited to watch you grow as you take on all life has to offer. Always be you baby girl and it will take you far.

xoxo-

Momma.

My First

After Kaden was born I wanted a slew of boys. He was so easy, and so happy, and so much fun. I could picture myself going to endless sport games and washing loads of grass stained jeans. However each proceeding pregnancy was announced the female variety. But let it be known that Kaden is the type of boy that makes you wish for a house full of more. 

I looked up the word joy in the dictionary which read 

noun

1. 1.

   a feeling of great delight and happiness

And I subsequently decided that I should rename Kaden Joy. But then thought better of that idea, I do love him afterall. However (and I know I have said it one million times)  Kaden is Joy. He is full of more delight and happiness than I really knew could exist in one being. The simplest things make him beam and nothing compares to his belly laugh that fills the air often.

  The morning of his birthday he was sitting at the breakfast table and say "OHH I am just SO EXCITED" I thought there must be something big awaiting him at school I didn't know about and asked what he was excited for to which he replied "I will get a BIRTHDAY PENCIL at school today from the principle!" I am quite sure that the principle will never again receive such excitement as she hands out a birthday pencil. 

  

 Kaden likes everyone. He does not care who they are, or how old, he considers them best friends after they have spoken for more than 2 minutes. He was really wanting to have some friends from school over for a little  birthday party. I asked him to make a list of his best friends at school so I could send invites out. He came home from school with every single persons name he came across that day written down on a piece of paper and then explained that they were all his friends and he liked them all A LOT.  It was heartbreaking for him to have to narrow the list down to 12 kids. 

For Kaden's birthday we took him out of school for a day and headed to Busch Gardens. We left the littles home with a babysitter and had a fun packed day with just the 4 of us. Kaden said "Thank you, this is the best gift of my life!" at least 6 times. It was such a fun day, there were no lines and the weather was perfect. 

 Kaden requested Ice Cream cake for his birthday 

 By far his favorite present was Sky Landers which is a wii game that apparently has been around for years but we are just barely cluing into. He saves every dime he earns to buy new characters and does his chores as quickly as possible to squeeze in a few extra minute of wii time. All of his journal entries at school are now all about different sky landers characters.

Kaden,

   You were my first, you made me a mom. You began this transformative process which took me from an unknowing 22 year old who had big plans of career and travel and molded me into something so much....better. At 12:01 on May 30th I became mom. They handed me your perfect 8lb body and I knew that life had just permanently and irrevocably changed. Because becoming a parent has a way of making you so much MORE than you were. 

    I am ever grateful you came first. You're easy going personality made the first time mom thing pretty easy. You were my learning curve. You took me through all of my baby firsts, first sleepless night, first attempts at nursing, first tooth, first steps, first day of kindergarten. We have stepped into the unknown together a lot, I am your mom but in so many ways you are raising me. 

  Thank you for being the boy you are. You light up my days and nights. 

  

Happy Birthday my boy,

Thanks for being my first.

xoxo- Mom

Fast as a Monkey

Kaden was being a grump so I said to him, "Buddy, how come you are having such a hard time being happy today?" To which he replied "Mom... have you met my sister?"


For homework Kaden was suppose to draw our family tallest to shortest. He wanted to be outside playing with friends so he was drawing at super speed, and with little attention to detail or quality.  He was talking to himself as he drew and although I didn't hear everything I did hear these excerpts
"Hmm he looks like a monkey...that's ok"
"Oh.. I forgot her eye"
"Oh, I better fix her head... she looks like a pig"
"Should I give Phoebe four legs just on this side?... or four legs on both sides....then she would be a spider"

Less than 2 minutes from the time I handed him a blank paper he handed me back this....

I guess art won't be his forte.

I asked Taycee to grab me a couple things from upstairs, she retuned pretty quickly so I said "wow you are fast" She walked away and said to herself "I just did that fast as a monkey."

We were talking about a teacher at Taycee's preschool named Ms. Vickie. Kaden was listening in and said "Her name is Ms. Vickie?" I said "yes" and continued on with the conversation. Kaden then said under his breath "wow, she must be really big!" I stopped and asked him why he thought that and he said "well her name IS Ms. Biggie" ... apparently he misheard the name. 

This is an old one but I want to document it here for safe keeping.

For homework yesterday Kaden had to write down a story problem that used subtraction. This is what he wrote,"There were four babies crying. A bad guy came and taped two babies mouths shut. How many babies are still crying?" I am sure that will be a new one for his teacher.

Time To Grow

Growth is a fickle thing. I want to grow, I think everyone does. I want to become more than I am; a better person more capable of empathy and compassion. I want to be refined and polished. Yet when those times come and growth is upon me I resist. I fight and I struggle and I wish it away because growth, however needed and wanted it may be, is hard.

There have been several times in my life when I have felt the nudging of my Heavenly Father, the prodding and almost whispers saying "It's time to grow" Each time I have resisted, dragged my feet and shed a few tears. Each time I have come out the other side stronger and more capable to handle life's challenges. Each time it has been clear to me that Heavenly Father knows me better than I comprehend. He sends me what I need even when it is not what I want.

Last year growth came in accepting a pregnancy that was  unplanned and untimely. I worried and I stressed about the months that would follow. Graduation, moving, finding a job, moving again. I knew we were in for a tough year. I knew that we would be leaving home and family. I knew that my limits would be pushed. What I did not know is that the little spirit that was coming to join our home would be the thing that saved me. I imagined handling all of these changes with a newborn and could feel the exhaustion that was sure to come. What I couldn't imagine is the peace that she would bring, the solace that she would be to my worried heart. I thought about life with 4 kids and felt inadequate to meet the demands it would carry. I didn't know then that this 4th child I carried would bring SO. MUCH. JOY.

Growth came again a few short months later as Chris had to leave and I was left with 4 kids on my own. Those were long hard months. Many nights ended with tears on my pillow. My patience wore thin all too often and my kids missed their daddy and cried for him at night. But during those months of growth I gained a firm testimony of the importance of marriage. I  have always loved and admired my husband and appreciated all that he did as father. But during those months the truth of the divine design of marriage was engraven on my heart. Men and Women complete each other. They are two unique parts to one greater whole. One without the other will always be lacking no matter how hard they try. I also gained empathy and appreciation for those women who do it alone. Who, for one reason or another, are both mother and father to their sweet babies. They are hero's in their own right.

And now I find growth is upon me yet again. I have been prodded and nudged and the whispers have come "It's time to grow." I find myself living in a place I'd rather not be fiercely missing those I love. I have always been a firm believer that happiness is a choice. Yet lately that choice has eluded me. I came to Virginia with certain expectation and ideas and have found most of them to be unmet and untrue. My days require a lot, and there seems to be no reprise from the demands. I am surrounded by little people all of the time yet I feel lonely. Chris just accepted a new call to be the Young Men's president at church which requires more of his time and places new demands on our family. I am trying to start up a new little business which is requiring time and money that I am struggling to find. And so last week as I was in the car headed to my boutique that was failing epically and I received a text from a family member saying they had to cancel their visit this summer I couldn't hold back the tears. A flood of disappointments and stress ran down my cheeks as the last 6 months in Virginia came to a head. Growth is hard. Then I received a tender mercy, I had the Mormon Tabernacle Choir cd playing and they began to sing "I'll go where you want me to go." In that moment I was reminded that I am here because it is where he wanted me to go.  And He knows, He knows about the demands, and the callings, and the loneliness, and the stress. He knows that my heart is aching to sit in my mom's kitchen and watch my kids play with their cousins. He knows that my pillow is more often wet than dry. He's helping me to grow, growth is hard but it has purpose. Then as all of those thoughts were affirmed to my heart the choir began to sing "How Firm a Foundation" a song that has always spoke peace to me in trials.
  In ev’ry condition – in sickness, in health, in poverty’s vale or abounding wealth, at home or abroad, on the land or the sea  as thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.  Fear not, I am with thee – be not dismayed.  For I am thy God and will give thee aid.  I will strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand.Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand. 

Growth is hard. I feel far from home, and my days demand much. But He gives succor, He is with me and He gives aid to strengthen and uphold until one day I will feel able to stand. I am growing, I am being refined. I am being taught lessons that I will draw on at future times when the prodding comes and I hear that whisper "It it is time to grow again."