When the kids are away…

I am sad to report that this week there are no pictures to post, no funny stories to tell, no crying…from the kids at least… no diapers, no bottles, no late night visits in our bed. I miss it all. I think that most parents have moments when they think "if only we didn't have kids" or "what would it be like to have a week of freedom". I have thought this to myself at times. Those moments usually come when I am cleaning up poop off the carpet, or we are invited to some fun event that we have to decline because of a lack of babysitters. Sometimes I have thought "what would life be like if we hadn't got pregnant with Kadenso early and I stayed working and we actually had money in our account" I have looked back to the days of college where I was free to do what I wanted when I wanted and had a small twinge of longing.

This week I had those days back. No kids, no expectations, no to do's, just freedom. I want my kids back. Don't get me wrong it was nice, nice to sleep in, nice to pick up and go, nice to be on my own schedule. But it doesn't compare to walking in Taycee's room in the morning and seeing her smile and squeal and kick her legs because she is so happy to see me. It doesn't beat having Kaden run up to me several times a day with his arms wide open to give me a hug. It doesn't match the feeling of love we get when we see Kaden shuffling into our room to sleep with mom and dad because he is scared. Being free is great, being a mom is better. I will take a few moments of poop in the carpet and nights at home with the kids to be able to have the million moments of smiles, laughs, learning, and love. I think I always knew that, but it was nice to have the reminder.

I love being a mom. It is the greatest blessing I could have ever asked for. It is hard, and underappreciated, and tiring, and frustrating, and all consuming, and totally worth it. I never comprehended the love that would come with kids. I guess it is impossible to. They add more joy to life, more love, more learning, more understanding. I can't imagine anything better.

As I have been separated from my kids this week I have had a slight glimps of how Heavenly Father must feel as he is separated from us, his children. As I do he must worry that we are safe and happy and well every moment we are away. He must long to have us back in his arms to hold and to love. As I woke up yesterday and went in to check on Taycee to find her not there I wrote a note in my head

Dear Heavenly Father,

I promise I will come home someday. And I will give you a big hug. Whatever it takes… I will be there.

Love,

Your Daughter.

 

I will see my kids in less than 12 hours!

 

-can't wait for those hugs-