Just a little

Dear Brie,

    You are growing, against every wish I make you still grow and grow.  Somehow I believed that if I wished it hard enough you might slow down. But you, my love,  just keep growing and changing and learning and locking those perfectly chubby finger tighter around my heart.

 

But I still keep wishing. I keep hoping that if I hold you a little longer the time won't slip by. If I just sit and watch your beautifully long lashes flutter on your oh so kissable cheeks for a few seconds more maybe I will be able to kiss them forever. 

If I hold my breath maybe those few seconds when you lock eyes with me and stare into my soul before you drift off into dreamland will linger into minutes, and hours and days. 

If I squeeze you just a little tighter, and kiss you just a little more, if I wish just a little harder somehow maybe your perfect 7 month self will stay just that way.  Maybe you always find wonder in the way a rattle makes noise, and the way your tiny little toes can wiggle. Maybe you will never have to see the sad and the weary that comes with life. Maybe your innocent eyes will always just see love and joy.

But then again beautiful girl, you would miss so much this way. You would miss the wonder that comes from catching a snowflake on your tongue and the accomplishment that comes from completing the thing that has made you so weary. You would miss all the joy that comes with the sad, and the beauty that can always be found when you look.  So perhaps it is best that you grow, for you have a peace to bring to this world that so many need.

But for now I think I will still take just a little more time at the side of your crib as we talk about our days plans. I will kiss you a little more, and breath in your smell a little deeper, and maybe wish just a little it would stay forever.

xoxo- momma