The Boost

Dear Addison,

  I read this for the hundredth time a few days ago, and thought of you for the hundredth time.

Because you my girl just may be the fiercest of us all. You didn't start out that way. You came into this world gentle and quiet. You stayed my baby for much longer than any of your siblings. You would gently lay your tiny hands against my cheek and let them rest there for minutes. Many referred to you as their "angel baby" because you were just that a little tiny angel. Not to say you weren't a fighter. No, you have always been a fighter. Sometimes I hurt a little to think of all the health battles you have already fought. You started out on an uphill battle, but you always fought and you have always won. You were my silent martyr to it all, then you turned two, and every ounce of energy and fiest and personality that you had been storing for the last 2 years burst out of every inch of your body. And it hasn't stopped bursting. 

You have one pace these days, and it is turbo. You didn't walk til you were 18 mo. and now you just run. You didn't roll or sit or crawl or do much moving til much later than most babies and now it would take shackles and a tranquilizer to keep you still.  You run, jump, roll, dance and shake til mommy is past exhaustion and then you do it some more. 

We call you The Boost or Booster which I suppose stemmed from your nick name "Addi Boo" when you were still a baby. But you left behind all baby and the name transformed right along with you. You have handled the change of states with ease, of course your world has always consisted of mommy, daddy, brother, sisters and toys. So really this place is not much different than before. And you already had your first surgery here, so there's that as well.

I was looking through my pictures recently and felt like you weren't present in many of them. And then I realized it is because 90% of pictures I take of you look like this,

 And if I beg and plead for you to sit still and look at me I get something more like this...

So most all shots of you are action shots with a little bit of blur. And even those have to be taken in a room where I can shut the doors to keep you somewhat contained.

You have been with me for 32 months, and we have braved a lot in those 32 months you and I. From house quarantines to surgeries and physical therapy to skin biopsy. Sometimes I worry that this will always be life for you, going from one doctors office to the next always waiting for that next "medical shoe" to drop. I have a feeling that even if it is you will still be running 100mph in between each visit. :)

   We have been really working on talking lately. I don't know if you prefer not to talk or if all the ear surgeries make all those sounds jumble in your brain. Maybe you just know that your big sister will say everything for you and then some. But words do not come. This is not to say that you are silent. You my daughter are anything but that. You have ways of making your opinions known, and they can fill every corner of the house. :) Which is probably why I keep pushing those words so much. I feel your lack of verbal communication frustrates you more than me at times. I just know you have stories to tell, we just need to help you find the words. Perhaps one day all those stored up words will come pouring out much like your personality did.

 For now we will just run marathons from the moment your feet touch ground. We will sort shapes while I repeatedly say "purple" "blue" "yellow". We will look through your shelves of  "baku" (books) though you never let me read past the 3rd page before you pull it out of may hands and flip through all the pages yourself. We will say "ni ni luh you" (night night, love you) and "bye, ee aay rr" ( bye see you later)  50 times each night because that is the amount of times you get out of bed and have to be put back. We will ride your pony and say "woo hoo das fun" (woo hoo that's fun). You will color on paper til the second I turn around then you will color on walls. You will dump the stuffed animals 5 times a day and I will pick them up 6. You will beg to go "sie" (outside) and maybe it will warm up enough that we actually can. You will torture the "puppy" (which is one of the only words you actually say correctly) but luckily she will still lick your fingers and make you giggle. You will find a way to get your hands on every toothbrush in the house and hide them in un-findable places. You will teach me more about patience, worry, exhaustion, pride and joy. Because you might be little Boost but you are fierce.

All my love,

           momma

Just a little

Dear Brie,

    You are growing, against every wish I make you still grow and grow.  Somehow I believed that if I wished it hard enough you might slow down. But you, my love,  just keep growing and changing and learning and locking those perfectly chubby finger tighter around my heart.

 

But I still keep wishing. I keep hoping that if I hold you a little longer the time won't slip by. If I just sit and watch your beautifully long lashes flutter on your oh so kissable cheeks for a few seconds more maybe I will be able to kiss them forever. 

If I hold my breath maybe those few seconds when you lock eyes with me and stare into my soul before you drift off into dreamland will linger into minutes, and hours and days. 

If I squeeze you just a little tighter, and kiss you just a little more, if I wish just a little harder somehow maybe your perfect 7 month self will stay just that way.  Maybe you always find wonder in the way a rattle makes noise, and the way your tiny little toes can wiggle. Maybe you will never have to see the sad and the weary that comes with life. Maybe your innocent eyes will always just see love and joy.

But then again beautiful girl, you would miss so much this way. You would miss the wonder that comes from catching a snowflake on your tongue and the accomplishment that comes from completing the thing that has made you so weary. You would miss all the joy that comes with the sad, and the beauty that can always be found when you look.  So perhaps it is best that you grow, for you have a peace to bring to this world that so many need.

But for now I think I will still take just a little more time at the side of your crib as we talk about our days plans. I will kiss you a little more, and breath in your smell a little deeper, and maybe wish just a little it would stay forever.

xoxo- momma

Who wore it better?

Taycee and I have matching outfits. We didn't buy them at the same time, in fact it took me quite a while to realize we actually had matching outfits at all. But when I brought it to Taycee's attention she would not rest til we wore them on the same day. At first I was a bit hesitant to walk through the halls of preschool wearing the same outfit as my 5 year old daughter. But then I saw the pure joy and pride on her beaming face and all my reservations melted.

So the question (or really no question at all) is who wore it better?

True to the norm all things look better in child sizes. 

Thanks for being my twinner Tasty Sweet.

Snow Days

One of the hardest things to get use to in Virginia has been the complete and total fear of snow. Seriously, snow is predicted in the 5 day forecast and the shelves at the store go bare. We lost almost half a month of school in January to snow days. I found it all a bit ridiculous, BUT the kids had a blast playing in the overwhelming amounts of snow. ;) 

Kaden pulled Taycee around the yard on a little sled with her jump rope. She tried to return the favor but he was too big for her little arms to pull.

They made a few snow angels and even slid down the ice on the driveway on their cute little bums

And then they took a break for some hot cocoa and grilled cheese sandwiches

A snow day is fun, but snow months make me consider homeschooling. (or just moving back to Utah :D)

Projects

It seems that I have a never ending project list, to go along with my to do list, my goals list, and my "I'll never find the time but if I do..." list. 

Most of my projects have been household ones lately, from wall clocks to a kitchen back splash I have kept our every spare minute full. Chris has been his normal helpful self and has taken each project in stride and with a drill (or hammer or tile saw) in hand. One of my last projects was refinishing an old storm door. Taycee was able to help this time and she was so excited. I decided to document this project from start to finish, with my awesome phone camera. :)

I found a store in Richmond that salvages old doors and building parts from old condemned buildings. It was an awesome store that I could spend far more money than I should in.  Finding the right door was a bit tricky, the space the door was to hang was only 67 inches wide, far shorter than a normal door. After looking through isles and isles of old doors I found this beauty. 

 I carried it to the counter and sorted through a few bins of of doorknobs picked out these gems...

 And 67 dollars later I was out the door... with a door. :)

The project began by cleaning the inch of dust off the glass panes 

Then after taping off the glass we started with a coat of ivory paint.

 After coat two on both sides we were finished for the day.

I took some sage paint from an old can in the garage, added some plaster of paris and added a coat of the newly  made chalk paint. 

Once it was dried it was time to do a little distressing, after I did one side by hand Chris suggested using his handy drill attachment, which sanded the entire door in 1/4 of the time it took me to do half the other side.

 All distressed and ready to be waxed.

 After waxing it was Chris's turn to do his handiwork and attach the four door knobs

Drumroll....the finished product...

The next project came about while I was in the shower staring at the pitch of our ceiling. Somehow it reminded me of chevron stripes and I thought to myself, huh, I think I would love big grey chevron stripes on this wall. I told Chris of my thoughts that night as we were laying in bed and 3 days later he was making it happen. (Love that man of mine.)

It wasn't easy, but I LOVED it when it was done. 

I think for now we have reached the bottom of my project list. At least for today, I might have a few ideas brewing in the back of my mind, but for fear of wearing thin that man I love maybe I will give him at least a few spare minutes to enjoy!

The House

I am behind in posts. I have many pictures just sitting and waiting to be shared. But every minute of my spare time these last few weeks has been spent preparing for our housewarming party that occurred yesterday. We had hopes of meeting our neighbors and making a few friends. We made invites, ordered food, polished floors and threw a pretty good party. We met neighbors and only had a few awkward "oh you're Mormon" moments. :D It was fun, but I couldn't help but look around the crowd of unfamiliar faces and wish we had a few familiar ones to share our new home with. I could use a few girlfriends to come crash my house for awhile... anyone up for a quick 6 hour flight? No?...*sigh* ... well I figured as much, so I decided that I would bring my home to you. :) Welcome to our online housewarming party...

http://smu.gs/1ktHhbT

Browse through, take your time. And then decide to come for real.

xoxo-me

The Most Important Part

Lots of people have asked "How is Virginia?" and to be honest my answers vary depending on how the day has been going. I would be lying if I said I wasn't homesick. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss familiarity. But as the sweet lady behind me in church said after I gave a talk and mentioned leaving all of our families back in Utah, "But sweetie, you have the very most important part of your family right here with you." And so I do.

I will be eternally grateful for this most important part of my family. We went out for lunch on MLK day. It was the first time we have ever attempted to take all four kids out to a sit down restaurant. Much to our surprise they all did fabulously and we had a very enjoyable experience. As we sat and talked and ate my heart was bursting with love for the sweet little people that I get to call mine. They are smart, and curious, and just darn hilarious. They keep me busy and they keep life full. And the best part is I get to do it all with my very best friend.

 

Oh how I love this man of mine. Anywhere he is is home for me. 

He is the one who can calm my fears and talk me down off the I am going crazy ledge. No matter the problem he is there with a reassuring hug and a calming "It's going to be fine." He has been with me from "My roommate just got married at the courthouse and moved her husband into her room!" to "Addison's poop is greener than grass and Brielle hasn't pooped in days!" He is my sounding board, and my picture hanger. He is my kindest judge and my fiercest cheerleader. He makes me better.

There is something simply beautiful in the way we just fit. He is the grounded to my crazy and the gathered to my scattered. If the last 6 months have taught me anything it is that we are stronger together. Life can be challenging, there is no two ways around that, but it always seems more surmountable when we face it hand in hand.  

So here is to the husband who got up 3 hours before me on Saturday to clean the house and start the laundry before I woke up "just because". The daddy who makes my girls squeal with glee when he walks in the door from work.  The guy who still makes my stomach flip and my cheeks blush. The dad who knows answers to little boys questions like "what is the slowest growing thing on the earth and why are flamingos pink?" The man who fulfills all of his responsibilities for work, church and family without a word of complaint. The nintendo guy who can beat Bowser every time. The door knob fastener, picture leveler, paint taper, propane tank filler, do it all-er guy we could never do without. YOU are the best part of Virginia, and as long as I am here with you it's going to be just fine.

 Here is to surmounting the newest adventure with all of the most important people by my side. I wouldn't have it any other way.