July Fun

(Left to Right: Doug, Cass, Lisa, Chris on the 24th of July)

July has been full of family and fun. We love summertime.

My Aunt and her kids ( who are the same age as my kids) flew in from Texas for a few weeks. It has been so fun to get together and play with them. They stopped on their way to grandmas from the airport and we had a little party. The kids had a blast with the slip n' slide.

Eden was all smiles as she crashed into the pool of water.

Max had no fear.

Cute cute kids.

The Claytons came up for the 24th of July weekend. We didn't have any fireworks but we did have some sparklers. Taycee was all dressed up in her princess clothes and she LOVED waving the sparklers around. ( If you look close you can see grandma and grandpa Clayton in the hammock with the babe)

We went to the Roy aquatic center while the Claytons were up. This is a pictures of Kaden and grandpa coming out of the slide.

He really was happy to be in the water with me... I am not sure what this face is all about.

While the Claytons were up we went bowling. I was paranoid of the germs so I wrapped the babe to my chest. She likes being snuggled and didn't mind one bit. I tried to bowl but couldn't quite find a rhythm with the baby on my chest, so I mostly sat and watched. But it was still fun.

Here is Lisa at 38 weeks pregnant. Our first cousin will be arriving shortly! I think she was bowling to try and cause some baby activity, but her efforts were fruitless.

We went to Lava Hot Springs up in Idaho for our family reunion this year. The kids were in St George with grandma and grandpa so it was just Chris me and the babe. This pic is of Chris and my cousin Landon jumping of the high tower ( 35 ft up) I also jumped off this high tower. I am convinced my tail bone will never recover.
This is my cousin Annie...does she not have the most beautiful eyes? I am dying to do a photo shoot with her! :D:D

Addison did this the entire time...

She didn't mind being outside one bit.

That wraps up our July. August holds family pics, Jason's wedding, and lots of play time.

Hope your enjoying your summer.

One Month

I can't believe this little angel is already one month old! Where does the time go? I feel like I want to freeze every second because it is all flying by so quickly.
She is growing... slowly. At one month she weighs 5lbs 9 oz. The doctor wants her to put on weight a little faster than that so we are back to fortifying every other feeding with Neosure til she starts to put some fat on.

She still sleeps like a champ. I get about 7 hours of sleep most nights. She is nursing much better and usually wakes up during the day by herself to eat. Mostly I just love on her all day long, which mean I am sadly behind in most of my housework/craft projects. Oh well, they are only this tiny and sweet for so long and I don't want to miss it because of dishes and hair bows.

Kaden and Taycee have been at grandma Claytons for the week. This has given me even more snuggle time with the baby and I am taking full advantage. I am not sure when they will be coming home, the Claytons are waiting for their car to be fixed (it is in a shop in Santaquin). I can tell it is summertime when they seem to spend as much time in St George as they do at home. I am so grateful the Claytons love having them so much. They love being down there and always come home with so many fun stories. Everyday is a party when they are at grandmas house. I am sure they will have a lifetime of fun summers at grandma and grandpas house.

The kids have been darling with Addison, they love her to pieces. We haven't had any jealousy problems, really the only problems we have is they tend to love her a little too much :D. They smother her and always want to be wherever she is, nursing, bathing, diaper changing... anywhere. Kaden has had many questions in the nursing department, we decided honestly was the best policy. He uses the word "nipples" a lot now. We are trying to remedy that. It is AMAZING to have a new spirit in your home. They have such a peace and closeness to the Lord they bring with them, sometimes it is almost tangible. It has been so incredible to watch Kaden with Addison. Remember all the stories while I was pregnant about Kaden seeming to almost KNOW Addison already? Well that has continued. One morning she was laying on the counter while breakfast was being cooked and Kaden walked up to her, they locked eyes ( she doesn't focus on anything or anyone yet) and there was such a strong feeling of recognition. It was almost like their spirits were saying "I am so glad to see you again" I just know they will be very close through this life. It has been awesome to watch the bond they seem to have already.

I will finish off with two funnies from the kids

Chris was trying to teach Kaden the fuzzy wuzzy poem. After he had left for work I overheard Kaden in his bedroom... this is how he said the poem

"Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no pants, Fuzzy Wuzzy had a very cold bum." hehe, I giggled while I fed the baby.

Taycee was in the car and Cassidie asked if she had farted she replied "no, I burped out my bum."

Hope you are all having a great summer :) We sure are.

Photo Shoot

I took Addisons newborn pictures a few weeks ago. I thought I would share a few favorites.

Life

Life seems to be flying by and I feel like so much is going un-documented. I had a list of things to update on the blog before the baby came but I didn't plan on her coming so early. I would hate for the other two munchkins to be forgotten in the hype of a new baby so I am going to try and go back and document all the cute things from the last couple months.

I took the kids out to do Kaden's 4 year pictures, it is amazing how much bribing and hollering and noise making it takes to get a few good pictures out of little kids, but we did get a few I was happy with.

When I had the baby and Kaden came to the hospital to see her for the first time he said "Oh mom, I am so glad you finally spit her out of your belly." I gut laughed. I am guessing this came from the thought he had when he asked if I ate babies because he thought that was how I had a baby in my tummy.

Taycee had a broken toy the other day and Kaden said "let me have it, I am a great fixer!"

When we went camping awhile back Kaden was calling the pine-cones coconuts. We told him they were pine-cones. Taycee somehow combined the two words and started calling them "poke-a-nuts". It was too cute to correct. Now we point out pine-cones just to hear her say "oooo a poke-a-nut!"

One morning while getting ready for a bath I caught Kaden standing in front of the mirror talking with his belly button. He had his stomach in both hands squishing it up and down saying "hello I am mr. belly button, what is your name?"

Taycee's new favorite word is "super" and she uses it in almost ever sentence. "Mom I am so super full" "Mom I am super super cold" "Mom I am not super tired"

Taycee also has started calling people "buddy" but only when she is angry. The other day we had some friends over and one of the little boys butted in front of her on the slide. She yelled "HEY BUDDY, MOVE OVER IT'S MY TURN!" Guess we don't have to worry about her standing up for herself.

I had to print and frame this picture of her because it is oozing with sass... and so is she.

My handsome guy 4 years old

Kaden and Taycee play a lot of make-believe these days. It is not uncommon at all to hear them say something like "okay, you are Diego and I am Dora" or "You are the momma and I am the doctor". (We have been seeing a LOT of doctors the past few months :))

Taycee's still says "nice to eat you" when she meets someone new. No matter how hard I try to get her to say "meet" it just doesn't happen. I am raising a cannibal.

Kaden got his first ear infection since his tubes were put in 2 years ago. I think it traumatized him. It started with him saying he had water in his ear, I could tell it was bugging him but didn't think it was a huge deal. I explained it was probably from his bath and it would get better soon. The next day it was still bugging him and he kept digging at his ear. By day 3 his ear started draining yellow nasty stuff and I knew he must have an ear infection. We had to constantly keep a cotton ball in his ear to keep it from dripping. We couldn't put on or take off a shirt without a major melt down. If his ear was even slightly bumped he had a come-apart. It took about a week before the meds help to clear things up. Now every time he gets water close to his ear he freaks out and worrys it will get infected again. Poor kid.

The kids are doing really well with the new baby. So far no jealousy at all. The only problem has been there desire to do everything with her. They want to watch her eat, and sleep, and get her diaper changed. We have had to have a few talks about what is and isn't ok to do with the baby. The biggest talk came after Taycee decided to carry the baby downstairs by herself.

Chris had left early in the morning for work and had brought Addison in to lay next to be on the bed. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Kaden came in a couple hours later and woke me up by saying "mom, Taycee brought Addison downstairs for you." I have never jumped out of bed and ran down 2 flights of stairs so fast in my life. Sure enough Addison was laying on the couch right next to Taycee. I have come to the conclusion that angels must have been helping to carry that baby because I know Taycee doesn't have the slightest idea how to correctly carry a tiny 5 lb baby. I don't even understand how she got her off of our 4 foot bed. Thinking about the whole thing makes me ill.

I am sure there are so many things I have forgotten which makes me sad. Hopefully we can get back into a routine things won't get so left behind.... here's to hoping.

Day 14

Friday-- 7 days since last event

I got a very surprising phone call this morning and a few hours later....

Addison came home! I was like anther little miracle for us. To be honest I am still in the dark as to how it all came to be. We spent the night at home last night again. As I was getting things ready to go back to the hospital for our last night this morning my phone rang. I recognized the hospitals number immediately and panicked worried something bad might have happened. It was Addison's nurse on the phone, they had just finished rounds and she asked if we would like to take her home today. I couldn't say YES fast enough. I threw everything in the car called Chris told him I was picking him up in 30 minutes and we were going to get our baby.

Apparently in rounds they had decided we were competent enough parents to take Addison home with all her equipment without rooming in with her at the hospital for one night. I am not sure what changed, because we had asked for this exact situation on Wednesday and were told no. But I am so grateful it did. I haven't stopped smiling all day.

After a couple hours of discharge paper work and equipment training we loaded her into her car seat ( that about swallowed her whole) and packed up all of her things to go home.

Oh so so happy.

And now we are home snuggling and enjoying our privacy and peace and quiet. Her machines aren't that bad, just some oxygen and a pulse ox. They make it hard to mobile with her, but I don't mind just sitting in bed snuggling one bit.

Thanks again to everyone, your little words of encouragement and love helped us get through these past two weeks. We are so grateful to be home with a beautiful healthy baby girl.

Day 13

Thursday-- 6 days since last event

To finish up yesterdays update... we talked to the neonatologist and tried to work out some way we could still go home on Friday... no go. Saturday was the earliest she was willing to consider. So we will not be bringing our baby home tomorrow as planned.

If you are all thinking "it's just one more day" yes you are right. One more day isn't a big deal to most people who are living a normal life. To people who go to work or have a million things to occupy their mind and time during the day one more day goes by in a blink of an eye. But for me, one more day is forever. For me minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days in that place. One more day of sitting in a dimly lit room watching every wave form on the machine praying constantly that it won't dip for too long and start things all over. One more day of trying to nurse my baby while people hover to watch and then check every 2 minutes to make sure she is eating ok. One more day of taking temperatures and weighing dirty diapers. One more day of not feeling like my baby is my own. One more day of nurses and their opinions on what I am not doing right. One more day of the hospital rocking chair that has been my home for the last 9 days. Just one more day.

I don't have much of an update today because I came home last night and I haven't gone back yet. I am sitting at home typing this and aching for my baby but the thought of going back to sit in that room makes my head spin and my stomach churn. So I am at an impasse. I hate being in that place but I hate not being with her even more. I feel like a terrible mother. I feel like I should sit at her bedside 24 hours of the day just like I would be if she were home. I worry she doesn't know me. I worry when she gets home she won't know that I am her mom because she has had so many other people taking care of her. I just worry. I wouldn't wish the NICU on my worst enemy. It has been the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I have cried more tears than I knew were in my body. I have spent countless nights pleading with my Heavenly Father to send peace and help me be strong enough. My heart breaks daily as I sit and watch her. I feel like the first two weeks of her life have been stolen from me.

I know that people have babies in the NICU all the time. I know that 2 weeks is nothing compared to the months that other babies spend. I know that I should be handling this better and with more grace. I know it all. I am trying. I am trying to take it all in stride, trying to keep it in perspective, trying to find all the good and let go of the bad, trying to be grateful for this trial in our lives. But I am not as strong or as good as most. So I sit and type and complain and cry and try to pull myself together so I can drive back to Salt Lake and sit with my baby. After all it is just one more day.

Day 12

Wednesday-- 5 days since last event

This is what Addison looked like for about an hour last night. They tried taking her cannula off so that we could take her home with no air. However after about an hour and a half they decided she wasn't ready and put her back on the cannula.

I felt bad that they took the tape off her face for nothing. As you can see it was stuck pretty well and it did not come off easy. It left big red marks and she did not like it one bit.

So what does that mean for us? Addison will be coming home on oxygen. :( Boo. But the words to focus on there are COMING HOME. :D We will take her any way we can. I asked the doctors and they said this is something they just grow out of, usually around when they would be full term. (which is this Saturday) we will keep in close contact with the pediatrician and hopefully she will be free of tubes and wires soon!

The other complication this throws is that she might not be coming home on Friday anymore. They said she has to finish her 7 day count before they will switch her to the oxygen flow she will be coming home on. They want her to be on that and room in here at the hospital with us before we take her home. They also want us to take her into the pediatrician the day after she gets home for follow up. Because of all of the above they are telling me Sunday is the day we can go home. I know it is only 2 more days but here in this hole with machines beeping and no windows or signs of normal life... 2 days is an eternity.

We called our pediatricians office and they are open Saturday and Sunday so we are going to ask if we can still take her home Friday since technically her 7 days is up Thursday at 8:30. So they could put her on the oxygen and we could room in with her that night. I am trying to get my hopes up, they have a way of crushing hopes in this place.

So that is where we are at. Hopefully we know more by days end.

Here are some cute pics from this morning.

She still has hair! And it is straight and dark. Taycee's hair was curly from day 1 so I am thinking this babe didn't get the curly gene. Kaden and Taycee's hair had also fallen out by the end of week one and she still has all of hers so maybe this baby won't be bald :D

Recognize this outfit?

It was Taycee's here is Taycee at almost the exact same age as Addison is today. In the same outfit. I think they look a lot like sisters :D

More eye pictures for grandma who has never seen her eyes yet.

Oh and her cord fell out yesterday morning so I won't have to worry about that when we get home.

Day 11

Tuesday-- 4 days since last event

Addison is still doing well. Things haven't changed much. She is eating like a champ, between 45 and 50 ml every 4 hours. She has started to gain some weight back and is up to 4 lbs 13 oz. She is still at a 1/4 liter of air on her cannule. They think she is probably ready to be on room air but everyone is a little nervous to take her of the cannule. The last thing we want is to have an event on day 5 or 6 and have to start all over again. On that same note, we are not going home with the cannule so we have to take that leap of faith sometime. I'm sure I will be a nervous wreck for the first day they take it out but I also feel very confident we will be taking her home Friday so I anxious to take the next step towards getting her ready.

We weren't able to stay at the hospital again last night. They are full and very busy around here, so we had to drive home. Leaving the hospital at 12:00 or 1:00 in the morning to make the 30 minute drive home gets old fast, our gas bill isn't loving it either. We are hoping that we can get a room here the next few nights.

I think that is all for today. Feel free to comment if you have any questions that I have forgotten to address here.

Thanks again to all for your support. We love you and can't wait to let you meet this precious little angel.

Day 10

Monday-- 3 days since last event

Happy 4th to all. We hope you all had a fun day filled with good friend and family and food! We spent most of the day with family and enjoyed a break from the hospital.

Addison is still slowly improving. They are going to start weening her off the cannula tomorrow and we hope to be home by Friday. Other than that there is really no news. One day closer to coming home! :D

One of the rare eyes open moments. I hate how the cannule tape pulls at her skin and makes her face look saggy.

Day 9

Sunday-- Day 2 of the countdown

Well we made it back to the hospital. It was nice to be home and sleep in our own bed and get a break from hospital life but it was also very nerve racking. We left the nurse with the instruction to call us if anything happened. I watched my phone like a hawk from the minute we left til the minute we walked back in the room. Every time it would beep or ring my heart would sink. Luckily it was never the NICU. We called around 9 last night just to make sure everything was ok and they said she had been doing great.

We haven't been able to talk to the neonatologist this morning yet but the nurse said that in rounds everything was pretty much the same as yesterday. They did lower her air to 1/4 liter from the 1/2 liter she was on. The nurse said they tried taking the cannula out just to see how she did and she still needed a little stimulation. So we are hoping that she does well on the 1/4 liter and that after a couple days she can be back to room air. Then we can taker her home!

As we got ready for church this morning and while we were in Sacrament meeting, the spirit seemed to fill me up with hope and reassurance. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who is ever so mindful of our situation. I am grateful to know that he loves this little baby even more than I do and has her constantly in his watchful hands.