I have had a lot of thoughts on my mind as of late. Random and persistent things that seem to take up much of my mind. It seems when I get this way there is always a day or series of days when it all breaks loose. These last few days have been those days.
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I have decided there is no reason for us not to have some food storage. Yes we live in an apartment with almost no storage space... but as the saying goes, when there is a will there is a way. And as of Monday I have the will. So our storage closet outside on the balcony is getting a re-haul so we can fit some food in there as well. We also went to Home Deopt last night and ordered a 7 cubic foot chest freezer that we are hoping will be ok on the balcony. My sisters and mom are making freezer meals in a few weeks and I am hoping to fill half of that freezer with emergency meals.
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It has been a tradition for awhile now that Kaden comes and jumps in bed with me in the morning and we watch a few cartoons. (Although they are not really cartoons anymore, they are more like dancing computer people) I think this is almost my favorite time of the day. Kaden brings in his blankie, lays it on my stomach and cuddles up to me. Do you think he will still do this when he is 16?? Kaden came down with some illness this past weekend, so we spent the majority of it in bed watching shows. I now know all the words to the theme songs from Super Why, Dinosaur Train, Sid the Science Kid, and Word World. Thanks KBYU. We had to miss out on a few parties and we didn’t get to go up to see dad on his birthday. We also didn’t get to go to the regional conference at the Stake Center that the prophet was speaking at. :( I was really sad about that. I was hoping for a chance to shake his hand.
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Recently there was a tragic death that involved people members of my family know well. My heart has been aching for them and I haven’t been able to free my mind of the sorrow they must be feeling. It has made me very aware of the truth that life is so short and any one of us could be taken from this earth at any time. Last night I told Chris how afraid I am of him dying and leaving our kids and me alone. As I vocalized this fear I pretty much had a breakdown and was up late in to the night crying. WHY? I can't say why even the mere thought of Chris dying causes so much pain and despair in my heart but it does. Possibly because I know I could never find anyone else who compared to him in my eyes. Possibly because I know I am not a good enough mother to raise and teach these 2 wonderful children by myself. Possibly I was just crying for the hurt I know that poor husband must be feeling in losing his wife and soon to be daughter. Either way it was a night of many tears and fears and I woke up with a headache. However today I feel much better and I do not have such a doom and gloom view. Sometimes a good cry is all you need.
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Kaden had his first dentist appointment today. I decided since he has all his teeth and he is 2 1/2 it would probably be a good time to take him to the dentist. Chris had school and work so I woke up at 7:30 and started getting myself and the kids ready to be out the door and make it on time to our 9:30 appointment. I don't really go many places with both my kids by myself. It is a lot of work and most the time just not worth it. I was amazed at how smoothly the appointment went considering. Both kids were fairly well behaved. Kaden was a little leery with the spin brush that the dental assistant was using to clean his teeth and he kept trying to stop it with his tongue. He made me hold his had the entire time, but all in all he did very well for his first dentist experience. I was afraid it would be a scream fest and I would have to try and wrestle Kaden to the chair while keeping Taycee happy. So I was pleasantly surprised at the relatively easy appointment. The dentist says all 20 of his teeth look great. No cavities, thank goodness. I HATE the dentist; it is my least favorite place to be. The thought of the dentist makes my mouth hurt. So I am glad that Kaden isn't like me in that respect.
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Part I
Since the dentist went so well I decided to push my luck and run to the grocery store with both kids while I was out. BAD IDEA. Lesson learned - never push your luck, it doesn't end well- A new grocery store called WinCo just opened not too far from my house, it is suppose to be cheaper than even Wal-Mart in food prices so I decided to head there. It was the grand opening and had been very busy but I thought at 10:30 in the morning it couldn't be too bad. WRONG AGAIN, I pulled in, lugged both kids out of the car headed in to the store to find there were no carts. ?!? Huh? I asked the worker standing there if the carts were further in the store and he explained that they were all out and they were telling people just to follow someone out to their car and wait for them to unload. Are you kidding me? That should have been my sign right there that I should get in my car and go to Wal-Mart. But I am dumb and didn’t see that sign. In that 30 seconds we were almost in the store Kaden spotted the 25cent candy machines and rushed over to them. I didn't feel like trying to balance Taycee on my hip and rummage through my purse to find a quarter so I told him no and started dragging his tantrum throwing self back to the parking lot to stalk down some poor unsuspecting person trying to unload their groceries.
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PART II
Getting a cart was ridiculous, it was like a venue of vultures had dropped in and lined the doors to the Exit of Winco, each person trying to spot the prey with the least amount of groceries in their cart. I was not about to chase some poor old man down with my baby on my hip and my two year old in hand screaming "NO! I WANT TREAT" so I headed out to try and find a loan cart in the cart returns. I know what you are thinking, why didn’t you just get in your car and leave? Honestly... I don’t know. I should have, if I could do it over again I would have. This is where I did get a small stroke of luck and found a worker in a bright orange construction vest pushing 2 empty carts back towards the store. I quickly got his attention and retrieved one from him....within milliseconds there were 3 ladies behind me on the prowl for the second empty cart. I left the scene so I didn’t have to be a witness in the murder trial. But I am sure if you check the headlines tomorrow there will be something about a fight breaking out in the WinCo parking lot over the last remaining free cart.
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Part III
I buckled Taycee in the front of the cart and threw Kaden in the basket and made my way into the store... side note... I LOVE Costco shopping carts because there is TWO spots for your children to sit in the front. This is an ingenious idea considering that a fair amount of people have more than one child with them when they go shopping and it is very hard to fill your cart up when you have a very LARGE 2 year old taking up 75% of the space. I think that more stores should invest in the two-seater shopping carts... ok back to the story. I made my way in to the store and immediately hit a bottleneck of people looking through the "best deals" they put in the aisle you have to walk through to get to the rest of the store. This is where Kaden spotted a box of Cheez-it Crackers for $1.48. Good deal? Yes. Did we need them? NO! We already had crackers at home, more than one box. He is yelling "CRACKERS! CRACKERS!" standing up in the cart and pointing at the box. Now normally I would just quickly walk past and distract him with something else however I am stuck in a bottle neck and can't find a way to move past it. I decide the $1.48 is worth a quiet trip through the store so I grab them off the shelf, open the box and let Kaden start to munch. He quiets down and sits in the cart happily.
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Part IVWe have been shopping for about 3 minutes and Kaden no longer has any interest in the cheez-its and has now decided that it is fun to throw everything I put in the cart out of it. We are having a whispered battle that goes something like this... Me: "Kaden Christopher, do NOT throw that out of the cart. Sit down and eat your cheez-its" Kaden : "NO!” I am not one of those mothers who gets angry in public, and so instead of continuing this losing battle I just catch things as he throws them out. My shopping pace quickens and I am desperately trying to get the last few things I need so that I can leave and tie my child to a chair or something.
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Part VThe throwing battle goes on til I place a summer sausage in the cart. For some reason Kaden thinks this is the worlds larges Hot Dog and hands it to me yelling "EAT, EAT, MOM? Hot Dog? I HUNGY? EAT MOM? EAT EAT? EAT?" I realize that it is lunch time (and nap time) and try to explain that this isn't a hot dog but I will get him one as soon as we get home. He is not happy with this answer and starts crying loudly exclaiming that he is hungry and he wants to eat this 2 1/2 foot 6 inch round hot dog. At this point I realize Taycee has gotten into my purse and is sucking on my keys that are now dripping with slobber. I mumble "Ew Sick" and take them out of her mouth. This sets off a series of screams and waterworks. So what do I do? Being the good mother I am I hand her the keys back. She has already sucked off whatever was on them anyway right?
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Part VI
I head to the checkout line. I haven't got everything I need but I don’t care at this point. I am unfamiliar with the store and do not want to try and wander around to find the few items left on my list. Kaden is still telling me how hungry he is, Taycee has now moved on from my keys to a pack of Orbitz gum that is getting soggy and I figure there is about 5 minutes left in me before I give the cart away to one of the Vultures outside with everything and everyone in it. When I get up to the front my heart drops. The lines are LONG, I scavenge for the shortest and make my way over. Kaden now decides he is done wanting the sausage and he now wants some yogurt. He has also changed his tactic in asking. Instead of yelling it is a very sad "Mom? Yogurt? Peeese? Peese mom yogurt? I hungy" Nice. Now everyone around is looking at him with these puppy dog eyes and then looking at me like "Do you not feed your child? He is begging for food. And look at your daughter she is so hungry she is eating her shoe!" ... wait what? I turn around and there is Taycee lifting her leg up high enough and bending over low enough to eat her shoe. Lovely. I lift Kaden out of the cart and put him on my shoulders. I wait my 15 minutes in line, checkout, pay my $38.15 and bag my groceries. ( apparently they don’t do baggers at WinCo they just have a conveyor belt on both sides of the register and when you pay you go to the end and bag your own groceries. Which is fine when you don’t have two very tired and apparently very hungry kids) I then push my cart with my crying kids past the venue of vultures and head for the car.
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Part VII
I was stopped by a lady and a worker asking if they could help me unload my groceries (code for can I have your cart as soon as possible.) When I got the bags in the back and the kids in their seats I quickly put a binki in both mouths and gave them blankies. SILENCE. AHH I sat there for a few moments just taking in the quiet. That’s when I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I looked terrible. My hair was literally sticking in every direction due to a mixture of wind/Kadens hands from sitting on my shoulders. I had some sort of Kaden goop on my face, probably from the food the nice sample lady gave us to try and make him be quiet. And I had a nice line of drool down the front of my shirt. That’s when I realized that a lot of the looks I was getting in the store were probably looks of disapproval with a big dose of pity. Then my focus changed to the two little people in the back still happy and content with their binkis and blankies looking straight back at me. I decided its ok. It’s ok to have shopping experiences like this. It’s ok to clean up large poop spots off the carpet after having found your son with poop running out the top of his diaper and down his pants. It’s okay to put the clothes back in the drawer for the hundredth time because Taycee can reach them now and has made that her new favorite game. It’s ok to spend a weekend that was supposed to be parties and friends and possibly meeting the prophet in bed with a sick little boy who has a fever of 102 and just wants mom to hold him. Because in the end I have them, and they make me happy. They make me smile and they make me laugh and they make my life meaningful. So it’s ok. And I am the one who pities people who don’t want a chance to experience the JOY of parenthood.
The kids Halloween Costumes
Not a great picture. Better ones to come.
We took the kids to Gardner Village. We had no idea it was Witches Night Out. Boy were there a lot of women dressed as witches. It was super croweded but fun to see all the crazy costumes.
