To the baby

"Brielle can I have the phone?"... "No momma, I takka to dad go way peese"

Oh baby girl, you are all the things. You have officially entered the age of 2, and it has you firmly in it's grip. You have already mastered the scream and the tantrum and your new favorite phrase is "GO WAY MOM! GO WAY!" But then I hand you your sippy and you look at me with your huge blue eyes and say "dak ooo momma" with the sweetest little voice and I am yours...again. It a fickle thing being two.

You go at 115% ALL.THE.TIME. there is no slow or mellow in your world. You have a perfect knack for finding and usually destroying anything that isn't locked away. You hate shoes and are barefoot for most of your days. You adore your siblings, especially Taycee and run straight into her arms whenever you know you are in trouble. You have an excellent memory, once while we were at Addi's speech therapy the therapist pulled a bag of suckers out of a closet and gave you both one. Each week after that you would walk in the room and immediately go to the cupboard and say "teet peese?" Whenever you wake up before me you come and pull me out of bed "up momma up!" and then you hold my fingers and walk me into my bathroom because you know I always go potty before I go down to make breakfast. You are a lover of all foods and eat nearly everything put in front of you, though broccoli and carrots are probably your favorite. You will always eat those off your plate first and ask more.

Sleeping has become one of your least favorite things to do. At night you use to take your binki and blankie and snuggle down into your bed happily, now you scream anytime you come near your crib, though it never lasts more than 5 minutes before you are sound asleep. 

No is your new yes and the more adamantly I say it the funnier you find doing it.  If I say "I said no" your usual response is "I say yes!" Your favorite rooms in the house are the bathrooms and the amount of chaos you can cause in minutes would be quite impressive if I wasn't the one who had to clean them up. Although your sassy naughty moments come most readily to mind, you still have a very sweet side that shines through at times. Your kisses are the sweetest and listening to you learning how to pray melts me into a puddle. Your little voice is adorable and I love hearing you say "I tummin mama" when I call your name.  

Some of my favorite phrases from your vocabulary are

"Deelishal" -delicious

"wook at dat!"

"sit puppy sit"

"tumon puppy" followed by smacking your lips and patting your legs

"Hi Mommy, whata dooooin?"

"Um, my pone?" ( which you say in a sweet inquisitive voice whenever I find you hiding with my cell phone playing a game.)

Least favortie

"Go way mommy"

"Don't TOUCH ME!" (You especially like to yell this one during sacrament meeting)

"NO MOM"

This isn't really a phrase but whenever I do something you dislike you lower your head, furrow your eyebrows glare at me and pucker your lips while growling.  (It was really cute at first... that wore off fast)

When I asked you to stand still and smile you gave me the most annoyed look then waved your little chubby finger and said "no mom, no pichure" turned around and stormed away. 

Just so you know your dad was standing behind me and laughed. I will remind him of that in 14 years when this scene repeats itself. 

I love you baby girl with my everything, two year old tantrums and all.

xoxo,
mommy

While you are still 3

Addi Boo, 

I took these pictures today while you are still three. There is so much about you I wish to bottle up and keep forever yet I don't want you to stop growing because I find that with each new stage there is more still that I love, and if I were to keep you just this way imagine all things things I would miss.

I hope to remember the way you were fascinated with everything around you. Getting you to look at a camera was almost impossible because you were far to interested in the pinecones.

and the rocks

and the birds

and the ducks.

I hope I always remember that goofy grin you had whenever you actually did stop to say "cheese." 

Unless it was dad you were smiling at, he always gets the real smiles. 

I hope I remember the way you sing "twinkle twinkle little star" and always throw a little "ABC's" in the middle, and the feeling of your little arms wrapped tightly around my neck.  The way you say "I can't wike dat!" every time you see a vegetable on your plate and the way you hum while skipping around the house.  I'd like to bottle up the way you smile with your whole body, nodding your head and clapping your hands whenever something makes you happy and the perfect way your body still folds up into a little ball and fits right into my lap.  

You have stretched my mothering abilities, you have made me better. We didn't see the inside of one hospital or insta-care together this year (at least not for your behalf) which is such a huge improvement from the two prior. You are a fighter, and a lover too but I am always so taken back by the amount of fight you possess in that little 30 lb. body. You are always proving that you really can do anything you set your mind to. I have said it many times but I say it again, you are your own person. You do things in your own way at your own time. You still refuse to name colors but you speak spanish along with Dora, and ask dad to put you "arriba and abajo"  (up and down) when he is flying you on his legs. As we are navigating the world of therapies and pre-schools I am trying my very hardest to listen to my mommy instincts and do what is best for you. In a world where schools want everyone to be the same there is so much about you I hope never changes. 

Tomorrow you will be four, and so today I will try to bottle up the 3-year-old you that I love so dearly and then I will watch with anticipation for all of the joy your 4-year-old self will bring.

All my love baby girl,

mom

Great to be 8

I have been thinking a lot lately about the choices we make. The choices that define our moments, our hours, our days and ultimately our lives. The choices that seems so small yet impact so much and the choices that seem life altering and are just that. It would seem our existence dating back to even before our birth is all made up of the choices we make.

Kaden made a huge choice last week, probably one of the most important choices he will make and as his mom I couldn't be prouder. 

I find myself in awe of this little man a lot. I think back to my 8 year old self and am quite certain I wasn't nearly as knowledgeable or valiant as he is. He has such a desire to do right and make the best choices. I believe that our Heavenly Father is saving his choicest spirits to come to the earth in these final days and I can see it Kaden.

Kaden got to have his baptism all to himself which meant we were in charge of selecting speakers and music for the program. He asked his grandpas to speak grandpa Webre on baptism and grandpa Clayton on the Holy Ghost. Grandma Webre played the piano I led the music Uncle Huter and Grandma Clayton gave the prayers and Bro. Rosvall the second counselor in our Bishopric presided at the meeting.

We spent the morning packing up and returning home from the beach which made for a busy afternoon. I was so glad to have so many extra helping hands at home to get things ready and packed up for the church. My cousin Mckell and Devin and their family made the trip down from DC just for the baptism, which was so sweet of them. So grateful to have such awesome family.

There were lots of little hiccups in the day. We forgot the chrome cast to play the video during the time Kaden was changing after he was baptized. We left the ice cream for the desert bar at home. We were running a little late all afternoon. Kaden fell in the gym (after being asked several times to stop running) and tore a hole in his BRAND NEW $90 suit. (Okay so that was a big hiccup and I might have been right at breaking point)  I took a few deep breaths, reminded myself he was an 8 year old boy and in a very restrained voice asked him to go find a place to sit down and be reverent ... then I found him crab walking down the hallway. Lots more deep breaths.

However at 6:30 (after a very rushed dinner of pulled pork and watermelon) we all sat down for the program, me right next to my first baby, and none of those other little (big) things mattered. I was just so overwhelmingly proud of the person he is and is continuing to become. I am so grateful to be his mom, it is such a privilege to raise him (although often it feels like he is raising me) and watch as the strong valiant spirit inside of him shines through.

Kaden answered a few questions for me pre/post baptism about what and how he felt about the whole experience. It is pretty fun to hear about it all through his eyes. 

Sandbridge

Back in January I started making summer plans. I did this partly because I had just flown back from spending 10 days with family in Utah and the only way I could deal with being stuck back in Virginia was to plan our next time together and partly because I just really hate January so thinking warm summer beach months were just around the corner helped. 

We knew Kaden's baptism would be in June and family would be flying out for the occasion so what better way to spend that time together than at the beach?! After a few weeks of searching for different deals on condo's and beach houses I finally found what I thought to be the perfect option and we booked it. (It had to be during the last week of school because summer rates started the week school let out and the extra 1,000 dollar charge didn't seem worth it)

It was a great week, the best week. To be in such a beautiful place and have so many people we love with us... well to me it just doesn't get any better. The ocean speaks to my soul and I could spend all day sitting by the waters edge listening to the waves crash. (except for the fact that I have 2 small children who will in no way allow that.) 

We arrived Monday night, mom dad and Hunter joined us Tuesday and Kelly and Claudia came for the final 2 days.  We soaked in lots of Vitamin D, went through several cans of sun screen, caught approximately 78 sand crabs and ended every night in the condo's swimming pool. Our time came to a close way way way too soon and I am already planning for our next trip. 

I spy a grandpa with a handful of wet sand headed directly for Kaden. 

My mom's most favorite spot

Addi caught her very first wave boogie boarding this trip. She loved it and even though she crashed a few times she would always jump right up and ask daddy to take her out again. 

These crabs were the big hit this year. We caught 5 or 6 of them through the week they ranged in size. This one was probably the biggest, about the size of a baseball. 

Grandma found a shell...uh I mean a walrus tooth...it's a good look I think. 

Our condo was only minutes away from the beach so we were able to come back for lunch every day. The sunshine and water wiped poor Addi out and she didn't even get to take a bite of her sandwich before she fell asleep with her head against the counter. 

A more comprehensive review of the week. 

https://youtu.be/ZGLh-xUsiJw

The Whole 30 in review

I am now 2 weeks post whole 30. Here are a few of my thoughts...

Am I glad I did it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably not.

It was something I had been wanted to do for over a year and I am glad I finally did it. I think it is a great way to become more aware of the types of food you are putting into your body. I loved knowing that every bite I was taking was a healthy choice. I found some new recipes and ways of cooking that I can implement into my every day. But it wasn't everything I hoped it would be. 

I'll start with the Pros: 

My family was eating healthier. My kids were consuming veggies at every meal.

I never felt weighed down my a meal

My tastes were quickly reset, things had more flavor, fruit was sweeter

By the end it was fairly easy turn down sweets

Did I lose weight? Yes, about 10 lbs. (Chris lost 15) I wasn't trying to lose weight though so that wasn't a big pro to me. 

Cons:

It was impossible to stay within our regular food budget.

I felt like I was cooking ALL THE TIME. I spent at least an extra 1-2 hour a day in the kitchen.

I felt extra tired. I kept waiting for the promised boost of energy but it never came.

I think for a person who has a really strong food addiction or a very strong food aversion this would be a fantastic thing to do. For me I feel like I ate fairly healthy, and my body handles most food pretty well. To be honest I didn't feel a much different health or energy wise through the whole30 than I did before I started. If anything I gained an unhealthy obsession with food. I was constantly thinking about what I would was eating next and obsessing over what was and wasn't okay to eat. There were several times I wanted to yell "YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME WHOLE 30" (read also: I don't do well with being told what to do)

Should you try it? Sure, if you want to. If you feel like you are in need of a healthy kick start to eating I think this great. If you are wanting to kick a sugar addiction definitely do this! 

I probably won't be doing a Whole30 again. I could see myself doing a whole10 especially after the holiday months when I am in need of a junk food intervention and want a solid jump start back to good food.

I believe in healthy eating. I believe your body functions better when you are putting good things into it. I don't think sugar is one of those good things. I also believe in moderation. 

So while the whole30 wasn't exactly my jam I will still be eating my veggies and cooking with healthy fats and cutting out needless sugars. I just might be doing it with a side of toast.... and maybe a cookie. :D 

My May baby

Kaden's birthday fell on Saturday this year which meant we started the morning off with a baseball game.  When we arrived he announced enthusiastically, "It is my birthday today, which means we have birthday power so WE ARE GOING TO WIN!"  The first two innings didn't seem to agree with that, but by the bottom of the third that birthday power kicked in and in the closest most nail biting game yet the cardinals pulled out the win. 

Kaden hit a double and stood on the second base with arms raised in the air for at least 10 seconds. I love that kid, his joy, and his complete unabashed enthusiasm. 

Kaden played his best game yet and was given the game ball at the end of the game. I don't think any present could have topped that. He called both sets of grandparents on the way home and it is possible he had never been so excited in his life, and that my friends is saying something.

Later that afternoon we had a water bash at our house. Friends, water guns, pizza, and yoshi cake it was better than Disneyland in his book. 

Side note: These cake balls were a nightmare to make, the humidity here does not agree with trying to keep chocolate dipped cake on a stick. 

My May baby,

  8 years ago on May 29th at 3:15 my water broke. I sat in the bathroom while your dad frantically ran around the apartment trying to gather items (and himself). You were the best unplanned thing that had ever happened to me. You were the first to call me mama, my own personal crash course on motherhood. I had so many hopes and dreams for who you would be, and you have exceeded every one of them. 

 It has been 8 years since I first heard your precious cry and the doctors exclaimed "Wow! Look at those dimples." ( and it is true, those dimples shine through in almost all of your facial expressions) I think I was sure you would stay just that way forever,  I'm so glad you didn't and so sad too. Watching you grow into the person you are has been the most rewarding, and heart wrenching thing. I think the hardest part of being a mom will be letting my babies grow up, but you have been a kind and patient teacher. 

I hope your heart is always as full of kindness and joy as it is now. 

I hope you always cheer yourself on when you hit a double. 

I hope you know how loved you are. I think you do. 

Happy Birthday my 8 year old baby. 

xoxo- Mom

IV's and nebulizers and steroids... OH MY!!

Alternate title: Brielle's first ambulance ride
Warning: This post contains words like phlegm and vomit. If those things make you gag, probably don't read this. 

Tuesday morning started as most normal mornings do. Breakfast, morning chores, pack lunches, walk to the bus stop....puffy eyes? Sadly it took me til about then to realizes Brielle's eyes were a little extra puffy. Not enough to make me really worried but enough to make a mental note to "keep an eye on it".

Fast forward to lunch time, add sneezing and a runny nose to the puffy eyes. At this point I chalk it all up to seasonal allergies and the ridiculous pollen floating around Virginia's air. About 1 o'clock I gave her benadryl fed her lunch and put her down for a nap. She slept great woke up about 4 happy as can be ate two helpings of dinner that night and went out to play with the older kids outside while I cleaned up the kitchen.

Chris left to go to the church at about 6:30. Why do things like this always happen when he is not home? WHY?!

Around 7 Brielle came back in the house acting quite agitated.  I offered the usual, a drink, a snack, a cuddle... but nothing was helping and I couldn't figure out what she needed.  It was about 7:30 things got really interesting, she went for agitated to unconsolable and started violently throwing up. I lost track but I would guess there were about 6 or 7 rounds of vomiting. I was front row to it all and couldn't clean it up as fast as it was coming. It didn't seem like normal throw up either. It was super phlegmy almost like she had drunk a bucket of snot and was throwing it all back up. (Gross I know. Sorry, I warned you. ) The worst part was each time the vomit seemed to get stuck in her throat and she would choke on it for a few seconds before finally getting it all the way out. Once the vomiting spells calmed down to just small gagging I took her upstairs to put her in the tub. When I took her shirt off I noticed huge hives all over her belly and neck she immediately started scratching at them and pulling at her ears. It was about this time Chris got home. (welcome home honey) Once Brielle was in the tub she calmed down significantly. At this point it was about 8:30 and past her bed time, she looked exhausted. I pulled her out of the tub put her in pajamas and called the doctor. All of my mom senses said something wasn't right, but I didn't want to rush to the emergency room without at least running it by a doctor. I got the answering service and a lady promised I would hear back from a doctor soon. I waited, and watched her eyes swell more and her breathing slowly get more wheezy, I couldn't wait any longer I put her in the car and we headed to an after hours kid clinic.

(As a side note Brielle had a similar though MUCH milder episode about a week prior when I had given her Benadryl. I was worried she might be reacting to the Benadryl so didn't give her a second dose.)

To make a very very very long, emotional, stressful night short...

We got to the clinic, they took one look at her and gave her an epi shot, put her on a nebulizer to stop the "wheezing" hooked her up to an IV and a heart monitor and told me we would be transferred to the nearest hospital where she would be monitored for the next 18 hours.

Diagnosis- Anaphylactic Shock
Cause- unknown

The ambulance showed up and we finally made it to the hospital about 1:00am

After lots and lots of questions the doctors finally concluded the reaction was probably due to a bug bite. We will soon be headed to an allergist to have her tested for different bug venoms. A bee sting is what their guess is but without testing there is no way to tell. They also think that her first initial reaction started early in the day but was calmed by the first does of Benadryl. Often with anaphylaxis there is a post reaction 6 up to 17 hour later. In Brielle's case they think the night episode was a post much more severe reaction.

At one point in the question and answer sessions the doctor looked at me and said "good call brining her in, you probably saved her life." Which left me speechless. I don't ever like to think of my kids being that close to a life or death situation. -- Thanks, mom senses -- aka The Holy Ghost.

We left the hospital the next afternoon with 4 prescriptions and now have epi-pens on the ready.

I don't know that I have ever been so tired and grateful. Modern medicine truly is a gift straight from Heavenly Father, I know it.

I snapped a few pictures in the hours we were waiting for all the transfer procedure from the clinic to the hospital. Hands down the worst night of this little girls life.

She didn't really like the stickers on her belly.

Anyone touching her elicited ear piercing screams

The hardest part of the night by far was holding her while they put in the IV. It was traumatizing for both of us. 

She got yogurt and muffins for breakfast two of her favorite things

If any doctor or nurse walked in the room the next day they were immediately greeted with this look. She remembered all to well what they had done to her the night before. 

Daddy joined us the next morning after the older kids were in school. 

Addi was the only one who enjoyed any of this ordeal. She thought eating cereal in bed while watching Sheriff Callie was pretty much heaven.