When I grow up

It is 1:30 am and I can not sleep because my head is full of thoughts. My husband is snoring next to me, my 2 oldest children are in the basement snuggling grandma and grandpa, and my tiny one finally gave up the fight and looks like an angel sleeping in her crib. I thought that taking a hot shower would relax me and help with the transition into dream land but instead I am now sitting in bed blogging with a towel wrapped around my wet hair.

My hope is that by expelling my thoughts into cyber space I will be able to A) empty my mind (a little, Heaven knows I can never empty it completely) and B) let my hair dry enough that I do not have to use a blow dryer and wake up the 9 sleeping people in my home. So it seems I will break up the monotony of "mommy" posts that occupy the majority of my little slice of the world wide web, and instead give you ( all 3 people who still read this blog. ha.) a little insight into the crazy tidal wave of thoughts that plague my mind when I should be catching up on some REM.

As I was showering I was thinking of all the things on my never ending "to-do" list. Singing time ideas for tomorrow, well today actually, I wondered if they wanted the kids to sing on Fathers day, I tried to plan how I would teach the second verse of the baptism song and teach Fathers day songs as well. I push that to the back of my mind and moved on to the next thing, preparations for Kadens upcoming birthday party. I still haven't received a package that I ordered weeks ago. It contains crucial items for the bug themed party. What will I do if they don't come? Will the party be a failure? Maybe I should have gone with a different theme. But he loves bugs, he requested bugs, he is my bug, that is the only thing I ever call him these days. Bug. I hope he likes the party. I wonder what he wants most for his birthday..... then this thought....

"I want to be a firefighter"

That is what I hear from Kaden's lips daily. When he grows up he wants to be a firefighter. He wants to wear the red hat and ride in the truck and squirt the fires. Will he truly grow up to be a firefighter? Who knows, but for now that is what he wants to be and he eats his vegetables and takes his naps every day so
he can grow up to be a firefighter.

I don't remember what I wanted to be when I was little. I don't remember having a big dream or big plans, but I am sure that I too wanted to be something when I grew up.

I am grown up now, or more grown up anyway and I still wonder if I am who I want to be. I am not talking about what I would like to be able to do, but who I want to become.

I wish I was an incredible writer, one who could express her thoughts and feelings eloquently and really speak to peoples soul. I wish a was a talented singer and  could sing along side brilliant people whose  music  has inspired me. I want to be a gifted piano player and play complex music with little effort. I want to be able to sew clothes for my children. I want to be able to create beautiful things that others admire. There are many things I want to be able to do, talents I wish to posses, but that really has little to do with who I want to become.

I want to be a kind person, a good neighbor, and a loyal friend. I want to be present with my children. I want to be a mother who listens and teaches. I want to be forgiving and teachable.  I want to be humble and filled with charity. I want to be selfless. I want to be a person of truth and light. I want to be a tool in my Heavenly Fathers hands. I want to be not only a hearer of the word but a doer. I want to be an example of service. I want to be a better wife. I want to be dependable and hard-working. I want to be a means of bringing the gospel to those in need.... so many many things I want to be.

I found myself pleading with the Lord to help me be more like the person I want to be and then I remembered this beautiful quote from Elder Richard G Scott


 "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day."


So simple and yet to me so profound.


And so I have decided that tomorrow I will be a little kinder. I will be more present with my kids. I will try to emulate Christ a little more in my life. I will seek out those who haven't tasted the sweetness of the gospel. I will have more charity in my heart. I will be a good friend and find ways to serve. I will strive to be a doer of the word. 


I will never be a brilliant writer or singer or posses any great amount of talent but  maybe by the end of tomorrow I will be a little closer to the person I want to become. And that would be good enough for me.

Good Day

Today was a good day. Taycee and I actually ended the day as friends. I took her to the store with me... because I wanted to. We talked and she told me some stories. We made each other hats out of play dough. Tonight when she went to bed she told me I was a sweetie. We didn't have a major melt down all day.

I just wanted to document it, because honestly these days don't happen often for us. This is proof however that they do happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they happen a bit more often.

This and That

I love the summer time! The warm weather and fun plans and watermelon and extra daylight. It just seems to make everyone at our house a little happier :) So the fact that summer came mid April this year... well that just makes for lots of happy faces!

We had a little water party in our backyard with some fun neighbors. Addi got to wear a swimsuit for the first time and play in the kiddie pool with me. She liked it and she looked adorable.

Kaden was over the top excited to have friends over to play

One day Chris decided to climb the tree with the kids. I agreed to take a picture if he would immediately return them back to the ground ( which was about 7 feet below.)

 This is the usual arrangement in our bed at night. Okay I take that back... usually they are positioned right in the middle of the bed. I took this picture at about 2am one morning before I hauled her little bum back to her own bed.

 Taycee has a fascination with tying things. Most of our door knobs are wrapped and tied with string, shoelaces, belts, headbands or anything else she can find that will work. One day she used one of my sweater belts to tie our closet door to a hanger then she hung clothes across the belt. Yesterday I walked into Addison's room to find this lovely piece of art....

Oh well, I guess there are many more destructive things she could be doing. I know because at one point or another she has done most of them.

My kids are funny... like really funny. I wish I could remember all the things that they say in a day. But I don't. One time Taycee was being hilarious and Chris said "oh man, you crack me up" she kind of fake laughed and said "oh dad, you are a cracker too!"

Taycee started dance a few weeks ago. So far she really likes it. It is actually a half dance half gymnastics class. She is a natural performer and prances around on her toes like she owns the place.

Addison is thinking about crawling... but those thoughts have yet to transition into action :) She will be 1 next month. ( I can't handle that, someone please fix it!)

Kaden turns five in a couple weeks. WHAT? Oh man. We are having a "bug" party for him which is appropriate since I call him "bug" more than I call him by his name.

Taycee has grown 3 inches since August. 

Addison has two teeth coming in on top and the doctor warned me that there will be lots of blood accompanying them because they are purple and have caused huge blood blisters. I am sure I will freak out and have a huge post about that when it happens. 

We are most likely moving to China in a year.

I am itching to go on a vacation somewhere. I have booked a stay at the Tahiti Resort in Vegas. June 18th can not come fast enough. 

Summer has arrived and I couldn't be happier about it! :D

MothE.R.'s day

Mother's Day started bright and early with a trip to the E.R.. Okay okay actually the doctors trip started late Saturday night but it went well into the early hours of Mother's day. 

It all started Saturday night when we went to Avengers. The Claytons were still in town and they offered to take our kids to the Lorax while we went to see Avengers. (Which by the way we loved) We kept Addison with us, right when the movie started she was unusually fussy. She is normally perfectly content to sit and snuggle. I offered to take her out while Chris watched the movie. While I was out bouncing her I noticed she seemed to be breathing faster than normal. I didn't think much of it and finally got her to sleep. When I took her back into the theater and sat down I noticed her breathing again, and then a little while later she started to tremble every once in awhile. We had taken her into the ER the Saturday before Easter for similar things and she ended up having a double ear infection. I worried that the same thing was starting to happen. When the movie was over we headed straight to the doctors. We spent 2 hours at Wee Care trying to find out what was wrong, her ears looked ok, her throat was a little red, but there was nothing that stood out as the cause for her respiratory rate which was about 87 and fever which was at 103. They took a chest X-ray which came back clear and then did a breathing treatment. The breathing treatment was horrible she screamed the entire time. Her respiratory rate after was up to 101. They decided to send us to the ER for some blood work. Unfortunately the Davis Hospital is not covered under our insurance so he headed up to Mckay Dee. After all was said and done it was 3 oclock and they still had no answers but her breathing was slowing down so they sent us home with order to come back if her breathing got out of control again.

When 7 rolled around Sunday morning I was exhausted. I had to lead the primary singing in Sacrament meeting so I rolled out of bed and got into the shower. Chris was so sweet and had gotten up before me and made breakfast. I don't know how he did it I could barely function. Church went well, nothing like last week (thank the heavens). The kids did well in sacrament meeting, everyone said they could hear Kaden and Taycee above everyone else. I guess that is what happens when your mom is the primary chorister and makes your practice the songs every day. Chris came home with the baby during the last two hours and made me a fresh batch of my favorite chocolate chip cookies. 

After church we went to my mom's house for some yummy pulled pork. The men did a wonderful job with dinner and the mom's got to just lay back and relax. Everytime I sat down I thought to myself "this is a really comfortable spot.. I could fall asleep here" haha I was really tired. We left my mom's house at 6 and the kids fell asleep in the car on the way home. We couldn't get the to wake up when we got home, they were out of the night. I guess we were all a little tired. Chris gave me a massage and put me to bed too. Minus the ER visit it was a wonderful mother's day. 

 I am so grateful to be a mom to these three crazy kids. They keep life interesting.

 I am so grateful to this man who takes such great care of me!

Hope all of the mom's had a wonderful day. 

Graduation

Kaden did it! Our bug graduated pre-school on the 11th of May. He was so excited and asked me almost daily for 2 weeks if it was his graduation. In April I picked him up from school one day and on the way home he requested to call grandma. I dialed the number and handed him the phone. When she answered the first thing  out of his mouth was "grandma you are coming to my graduation right?" They must have talked about it at school that day because he was dead set on having his grandparents there. 

He was such a little stud all dressed up in his suit. 

He was pretty excited when he saw me sitting on the front row.

He was such a great singer and knew all the words to every song. I think it would be safe to say he was the most animated of the bunch. I think he had all the parents giggling at one time or another.

At the end he got a medal, which he is still proudly sporting.

He is such a character. We all agreed on the way home that he might end up on broadway or something.

Thanks to grandma and grandpa Clayton for making the long trip to see him. You made his night.

 These are his darling teachers Miss Kristin and Miss Jenn. Kaden will miss them both.

We love you so much bug, we are so proud of you.

Sunday... a day of mess

It was just one of those days. A day when I wished I had accidentally slept til noon and by some miracle no one had woken me up.

Chris had early morning meetings and we have church at nine. We got up extra early in the morning to get baths done and breakfast eaten so that even without dads help we could all be to church on time. Chris left about 7:45 to head to his meeting and we were doing good. Kaden and Taycee had both been bathed and were dressed. I just needed to get dressed and do my makeup and Addison was still sleeping. I decided to do Taycee's hair first so she could go downstairs and watch a Book of Mormon movie with Kaden. My makeup was out on the counter and as I was doing her hair she kept  picking up different things out of the bag and ask if she could use them. I repeatedly said "no" and took them away to put back. Her favorite piece of makeup is my foundation because it is a mineral powder and has a big poofy brush on top. Addison started to cry so I left Taycee in the bathroom to go check on her. When I came back Taycee had opened my foundation and dumped the entire 9 dollar bottle out all down the front of her dress. I was more than a little frustrated as I headed downstairs to get the oxyclean to soak the tan stain out of the front of her dress. Once that situation was under control I started doing her hair again and Kaden came upstairs with a chocolate pudding... an open chocolate pudding...and open chocolate pudding that was all over his face and shirt. Seriously?? I ordered him to place the pudding on the table and clean up his face. It was now almost 8:30 and no body was dressed although their hair was done. I threw clothing on both of them and gave Addison a 30 second splash in the tub which she was not thrilled with because she cried the rest of the time I was trying to get ready. 9 oclock rolled around and I was still in my robe with no make-up on. The kids were dressed and ready but I didn't have a church bag put together and Addison would not stop crying unless I was holding her.

I sent a quick text that read something like "it's gonna be a while" to Chris who was sitting alone in sacrament meeting wondering where we were. Minutes later I heard the garage door open and Chris rode in on his white horse to save the day... or maybe to save the kids from their mother who was moments away from some sort of nuclear melt down. I got ready and we made into our seat at church by about 9:20. As soon as we sat down Taycee pulled the crayon pouch (which had been left open) out of the church bag. The problem was that she had grabbed the bottom of the pouch so when she pulled it out all the crayons came tumbling out and went rolling down to the front of the room. Perfect. It was fast and testimony meeting and Kaden decided he wanted to bear his testimony. He promised me he could do it all by himself ( which he has done before) so I let him go up. He marched right up to the mic, smiled, took a breath, and then waved me up to help him. After we returned to our seats Addison spit up all over my black skirt. I decided that Universe really didn't want me to be at church that day. It is a good thing I have a strong testimony of the importance of being at church or I probably would have stood up and left, actually I probably wouldn't have made it there in the first place.

The good news is that the day came to an end and we were all still alive, and relatively happy. :)